bsd oneshots from ao3

(shin soukoku and soukoku angst) choices

(my honest reaction reading this ^^^)

It had been an accident, it hadn't want it. Never in his life. Oh god why did he have to do it ? It was an accident. He didn't have a choice.

Atsushi had... killed Chuuya, had killed someone. And now the red haired man was lying face against the floor of the warehouse he had asked Atsushi to meet a few hours ago. He couldn't move, he couldn't breath anymore, he couldn't avoid his gaze from the body a few inches from him. He was soaked in blood, soaked in blood from killing someone, soaked in blood from trying to wake him up, soaked in Chuuya's blood.

Hours had passed since the last breath of the mafia member before Atsushi heard footsteps. He didn't look away from the corpse, even as the stranger got close to the body, kneeling next to him. The stranger's hand brushed against the red hair, as if stroking it.

"What happened ?" A voice asked him calmly. It took Atsushi a moments before recognizing it as Dazai's.

Atsushi froze even more as he realised something : he had killed Chuuya. Not anybody but Chuuya, his friend, Dazai's love. He had killed the thing the most important in Dazai's life. And now he was...

"What happened ?" Dazai repeated once again. This time he had spoken louder, as if to give an order to Atsushi.

"I'm- I'm so so-sorry, Dazai-san, I didn't mean to-" Atsushi had to stopped because of the sobs shaking his body. Seated on the floor, he took his head in his hands and cried even more. God what has he done ? He hadn't wanted it !

"Chuuya," he began and failed to notice the way Dazai tensed at the name, "Chuuya asked me to come meet him here and- and he told me that-that the port mafia wanted t-to kill me and he said that he w-was sorry but he didn't have the choice. And then he had taken his gun and tried to hit me but I avoided the shot and he had j-jumped on me and I didn't realise I had half-transformed and-"

"Stop." Dazai cut Atsushi mid-sentence.

Finally, the man-tiger looked at his mentor. His face was hiding by his strands but Atsushi took a glimpse of tears falling on Chuuya. Slowly, Dazai stood up and looked at him. His eyes were empty, tears were rolling on his cheeks and he looked as if he were... dead.

"Dazai-san..." That seemed to snap the older man out of his thoughts, for a strange grin started to appear on his face. He began to walk towards Atsushi who felt shivers along his spine. Dazai pulled a gun from his jacket and pointed it at the silver haired boy in front of him.

"Atsushi-kun," the man spoke and though he sounded as happy as ever, Atsushi only heard insanity in it. "I'm sorry."

"Dazai-san please !" He started to beg.

Atsushi closed his eyes, no he didn't want to die, he didn't want to die. This wasn't his fault, he had meant no arms, he liked Chuuya a lot so why did things had turned like this ? He wanted to run but he felt so weak at this moment. He deserved to die but he didn't want to. He had killed someone, but it wasn't his fault.

"Dazai-san I'm begging you" He cried and then he heard three gunshots.

But nothing happened. He wasn't hurt anywhere. Shouldn't the bullets have touched him ?
Slowly he began to open his eyes and saw a man wearing a black coat standing before him, a dark shield between them and Dazai. Rashoumon retracted and Atsushi heard the bullets falling to the the ground.

"Aku ?"

The man only spared him a glance before looking back at Dazai.

"What do you think you're doing ?" He asked and never Atsushi had seen him this angry at his former mentor.