bsd oneshots from ao3

(Killugon) In My Next Life

(Okay guys so I know this isn't bsd but.... This is the only time I'll post something non bsd I promise 😭 feel free to skip if you don't like hxh or something)
Gon was sixteen when his best friend died. They'd been best friends for four years, been through hell and back together. And Gon wasn't even there to see his last breaths. He hated that, hated it with a burning passion. After everything that had happened, the pain, the fights, the loneliness- Gon wasn't there for Killua. Again.

They had been hunters, skilled hunters from the age of twelve. The strongest? No, not by any means. But no one could deny that they were special. It was understandable, though. Gon, the only son of the world's greatest hunter and born of Nen, and Killua, the heir and the most skilled and infamous assassins the world has ever known. They were born from greatness.

So how was it that Gon's life had become so ordinary, so mundane? The young hunter split from his best friend in order to see his father, and in order for Killua to give his baby sister the world. This was under the pretense that they'd always be friends and always be in contact. Well Gon stayed with Ging a grand total of three days, and with Kite and his friends another two, before he was on his way back to Whale Island to complete years of school work with Mito.

He and Killua didn't stay in contact. Not often, anyway. Gon tried at first, but the guilt from what he'd done to Killua after Kite died ate away at him and caused his sanity to decay. He found that Killua's scattered replies and the fact that things were different pulled him further and further from his other half. Soon he stopped reaching out and soon Killua stopped replying as well. Mito learned fairly quickly to stop mentioning the former assassin.

The next time he heard any mention of his chocolate loving best friend was the announcement from Alluka of his death.

What hurt Gon the most, what shook him to the core and destroyed the remaining traces of his innocence, was how the young Zoldyck passed. It wasn't his brother or the disturbed magician. It wasn't someone seeking revenge on the family of assassins for the death of a loved one. It wasn't a hunting assignment gone wrong. No, what killed Killua Zoldyck... was poison.

He was supposed to be immune to it. That's what Killua had always said. His family had eased him into a high tolerance. Slipping toxic substances into his food and drinks, injecting others into him directly. He once told Gon how he used to feel the side effects for days on end before they'd start to wear off. All to gain immunity against enemies who might want to rid the world of him. Who knew that the very enemies that the Zoldycks were trying to protect Killua from, were themselves?

Alluka's letter explained that according to toxicology reports, the poisons had been slowly killing him from the inside out for years. His tolerance was high- that was was the only reason behind him living for so long. But he wasn't immune. He'd been in pain, suffering in silence instead of telling Gon or Alluka how sick he was. No one noticed it until he'd finally started showing symptoms. By then it was too late.

The funeral was on Kukuroo Mountain so Gon couldn't attend. He couldn't see his best friend buried. Couldn't say goodbye one last time. At first he was in denial. " It's just a trick! Killua doesn't want his family to find him to he and Alluka faked it! He's fine! " Gon would text Killua's phone, leave him messages and laughing about this prank and about how he fooled everyone, then yelling, then crying. A box came in the mail a week later- pictures, Killua's clothes, his cell phone, his hunter license, some old chocolate robots. Gon called Killua's phone more often, clinging to his sarcastic voicemail like a lifeline until the number was automatically disconnected a month later.

A few months after Killua's funeral, Mito walked into the pet store on Whale Island to pick up some bird seed. Her surrogate son no longer fed the birds around their home. He no longer did anything now that Killua was dead. She tried desperately to make her boy smile and to bring him out of this coma-like state that he was in, but nothing worked and she felt that he had a right to mourn. So she decided to let him stay in his room while she attempted to make life as normal as possible for him.