My life is turned upside down

I am scared 

Erin's pov: my life has always been a shit show with me having an alcoholic mom and all of her a piece of boyfriend she's had over the years, but I thought I came out of that life when I met Hank voight and his wife Camilla they gave me a sense of family that I needed and missed my whole life. Then all of a sudden Camilla died of cancer is a few years after I met her at felt like I lost your mother. It was hard at first, but it got better than I decided to join the police force. It was the best decision I made. I now have a family with my unit for a brief moment me and Jay were together, but then decided to take a break about two months to go my wife got turned upside down yet again, my best friend Nadia got kidnapped by a serial, rapist and killer who ended up killing her a couple days after kidnapping her so for the last few weeks, I started to blame myself for her murder by drinking a lot, and using drugs again couple weeks ago, I decided to quit being a police officer, so right now I am just drinking nonstop stop and doing drugs and also sleeping a lot, Jay has tried to contact me a couple times but I have an answered him because I know if I talk to him I might change my mind in the last few days. I haven't been able to keep anything down so I went to urgent care to find out why I've been feeling this way.

E= ( knocking) come in
UCD= hello Miss Lindsay I'm Dr. Green
E= nice to meet you
UCD= same here so according to this paper, you said you aren't able to keep anything down, so how long has this been going on?
E= it's been almost a week I'm probably just dehydrated, so I just need fluids
UCD= oh, why do you say that?
E= well it happened to me when I drink and do drugs for a short period of time it happens to me all the time in the past
UCD= well OK so I guess you know your body pretty well
E= I would think so
UCD= so I have one more question for you
E= OK what is it?
UCD= well it's kind of two first one is there any chance you could be pregnant?
E= I don't think so
UCD= well then when was your last period
E= ( start to think) actually, I have no idea I have been going through a lot of stuff lately. I haven't kept track of time
UCD= well wouldn't it be OK if I drew your blood and have you pee in a cup so I can run some test first
E= sure why not
UCD= all right I'll send in the nurse then I will be right back
E= all right, Doctor

Within the next 15 minutes the nurse comes in and draws my blood and then I go to pee in a cup. Now I'm waiting on the doctor to come back with the results.

UCD= all right so I have the test results
E= OK what do they say?
UCD= well minus the little bit of drugs in your system. The only thing the test shows me is that you are indeed pregnant.
E= wait I am
UCD= yes you are congrats Erin
E= I guess things does the test tell you how far along I am
UCD= is there anyway I can find out today how far along I am
UCD= yes there is we can do an ultrasound on you today if you want
E= yes, that would be great
UCD= all right I'll go get the ultrasound machine. Well you take your pants and underwear off and lay down on the table.
E= all right Doctor ( I do what the doctor told me to do)
UCD= so are you ready?
E= as ready as I Can be
UCD= so since we have no idea how far along you are, we had to do the transverse ultrasound
E= all right
UCD= OK this might be a little uncomfortable ( insert ) and there is your baby
E= oh wow, the baby is so tiny
UCD= oh yes, it is but don't worry the baby will grow super big
E= all right
UCD= so based on the measurements that I am getting it, looks like you are about six weeks pregnant as of today
E= OK cool does the baby look healthy?
UCD= yes the baby is but that brings me to my next point you can't keep going the way you are with drinking and doing drugs cause if you do it will cause harm to the baby as time goes on so if I was you I would start thinking about quitting doing alcohol and drugs forever if not, for the time being
E= all right I will
UCD= it's still a little too early to hear the baby's heartbeat, but everything else looks good
E= all right
UCD= no you need to set up an appointment with a OB/GYN to get a better examination and to start the prenatal process that you'll need to do
E= all right I'll do that as soon as possible
UCD= here is your pictures of your little baby and congrats again
E= why thanks