Forever Yours (More Than A Feeling|Sequel)

Eight: If I Didn't Have You Then I Wouldn't Be Me

Elise's POV

When I hung out with Jimmy the next day he told me what happened when he confronted Aubree about the things she'd said to me. I'd felt kind of bad because they fought, and even though Aubree didn't work today, Jimmy came over anyway because they're not really speaking to each other and he didn't want to stay there. 

I had to work later today, but I didn't have to leave until four-thirty and right now it's only ten, so we've got plenty of time. I could tell that he had more on his mind than just their argument, but I didn't really know what. We were sitting on the couch next to each other.

"When she told me that you act different since I've come back, what does she mean by that?" I asked quietly, still a little puzzled by that piece of information.

Jimmy thought for a moment. "I guess maybe I haven't been as... affectionate? I don't know." He shook his head. "It's going to happen all over again. I'm going to end up pushing her away like I pushed you away."

My head snapped up to look at him as soon as he said that, I was horrified. He had his eyes covered with his hand as he leaned back into the couch. I moved closer, sitting on my knees as I reached up and gently removed his hand from his face. 

"That was not your fault, Jimmy." I told him sternly.

"Yes it was. I kept arguing with you and I let myself become so scared of hurting you that I distanced myself from you without even realizing it and just hurt you anyway." His now saddened blue eyes looked at me. 

"What happened was both of our faults. We let Henry get the best of us and that made things fall apart. But, if you really don't that to happen to you and Aubree, then don't let it. I think you'll be fine." I said. I hated having to reassure him like this when deep down I wanted the exact opposite, but I did anyway.

"Can I tell you something?" He asked, and I nodded. He paused for a moment, almost like he was contemplating on how to say what he wanted to. "I'm having... doubts. Yesterday I realized that I don't really know her as well as I thought I did. I feel kind of... almost... deceived. And.... I don't know if I really want to marry her anymore." 

"Why do you feel deceived?" I asked him.

"I just kind of feel like she made think she's someone that she's not. I mean, I know that just about everyone gets jealous at one time or another, but there's still something just doesn't feel... right now that she's started being this way. It's like I was engaged to an entirely different person." Jimmy stared off into space in wonder.

"Do you love her?" 

"I..." He started, and then stopped to really take in that question. He just sat there thinking about it for two or three minutes. "...I don't know. But I know that if I have to think about it for that long and only getting 'I don't know' as an answer can't be good." 

"Did you ever have to think about it before?" I looked up at him, and this time he looked back at me.

"No.... never. But now I do, and I can't even get an actual answer." A look that was a mix of confusion and realization covered his face. His voice had kind of a far away tone as he thought deeper into this. I felt bad for him, nothing was what it seemed to him and he's just now figuring that out, and I can't imagine how he must feel. 

"I don't know if I can go through with it, Elise." He said, and the look on his face told me he was looking to me for help.

"I think what you need to do is just take some time to yourself to figure things out, and decide what it is you really want to do. Don't make a decision right away based on how you're currently feeling now because you might regret it later. Just sort things out first and then make a decision based on what you know you should do." I advised.