Forever Yours (More Than A Feeling|Sequel)

Thirty-Seven: Together We'll Be Running Somewhere New

*Four Weeks Later*

Jimmy's POV

These past few weeks have been pretty hectic. Just last week, the stitches were taken out of Elise's leg. It was supposed happen the week before last, but the doctor said that he thought it would be better to leave them in just a little while longer. Now, she doesn't need the crutches anymore. Though she still limps, it's not as bad as it had been. She can get up and down the stairs, but she has to do it slowly, and it does exhaust her, so sometimes I still carry her. 

As for the wedding planning, we have the church booked, and a place for the reception booked. We've got the cake ordered and the decorations picked out, with the shade of purple we want. The invitations had just been made out, but we haven't sent them yet. It won't be long now before we go to have the fittings done for tuxes and dresses. 

Everything was coming together perfectly, and it did seem like time had sped up by a lot compared to how slow it seemed to crawl by four weeks ago. It was supposed to be right around this time that we would be able to feel the baby moving around for the first time. 

But, there was still one thing that was not so perfect. In these last four weeks, since getting the news that the bruise around her neck may not completely go away, Elise has been battling depression. She sees that bruise and it messes with her mind and tortures her inside, because every time she looks at it she sees the awful things that Henry and Aubree did to her, and now it was what they might've done had they gotten the chance, too. 

It was so hard to watch her go through that every day, to see her in pain like this. I didn't know what to do to help her, but I know that I have to do something soon because she can't go on this way. I told Matt about her struggles, and he came to see her and talked to her for a little while, but even he's at a loss as to what to do. 

I know she won't go to a doctor or a counselor of some type, she's too stubborn for that and she won't open up to people she doesn't know, even if they are professionals. Besides, she's not to keen on professionals, because it always seems like they fuck with your head more instead of helping you. But she knows she can come to any one of us, especially me, yet she doesn't. Matt told me to give it time, that she would come to us when she felt she was ready, but that was two weeks ago and I'm really starting to worry about her.

She's not depressed all the time, though. It's not like she wakes up every morning and just sits around moping and then goes to bed and does it all over the next day. She only gets depressed when she gets lost in her thoughts long enough or looks at herself in the mirror, directly at her neck, for a long period of time. It gets to her, and when I see it get to her, it hurts me.

She hasn't gone back to cutting, thank God, but sometimes I wonder if maybe she's thought about it. Just in case, I tried to do my best to remove too many sharp things. There wasn't much I could do about the knives in the kitchen though, so I guess I'll just have to pray like hell she doesn't do it again. I made her promise me not to do anything stupid like that, but that doesn't mean she doesn't think about it. I do know that if she does do it again, I'm not going to flip out on her like I so stupidly did when I first found out. This time, I'll be more supportive in helping her and comforting her. 

Elise did take the extra time off from work instead of going back, which was good because I think with the way she's been feeling, and not physically, she would've needed to take time off anyway. At least this way she's still getting paid, because it's paid time off of work, which is what she's been having since getting out of the hospital. 

I should also mention the nightmares. With all of this, nightmares have accompanied her and so she's lost a lot more sleep than she should be. Sometimes I can coax her into taking a nap during the day and usually she's fine, but at night she almost always nearly flys right out of the bed in terror, panting and sweating. When she shoots up to a sitting position in the bed, that always wakes me up and right away I bolt next to her and calm her down. I could care less that I lose a few minutes of sleep every night too, I'm more concerned for her than I am for myself by a long shot.