A Mark That Lasts Forever

Sincerity｜誠 section 5

I put on Shun's bracelet before leaving the house. Not wanting to visit him empty-handed, I stop by a small grocery store near the hospital to get some mandarins. Conveniently attached to it is a gift shop where I pick out a fuzzy white teddy bear holding a heart that reads Get Well!

I arrive at the hospital around 2pm. He's sitting up in bed and reading a book. His expression turns cold when he sees me.

"How are you feeling?" I ask.

He closes the book, but doesn't look at me.

"I feel fine for the most part," he answers.

"Then hopefully, you'll be discharged soon." I try to smile.

He doesn't react, only side-glances at the paper bag in my hand.

"Oh!" I lift it. "It's just some mandarins... and this."

I pull the teddy bear out and wiggle it. His expression softens. Feeling an opportunity, I hold it out for him to take. He hesitantly accepts the gift, setting it in his lap. I'm hopeful until he looks up at me with another unwelcoming expression. I pretend not to see and place the bag of mandarins on his side table.

"I appreciate you coming, but you know I'm not going to change my mind," he says bluntly.

"Yeah, I pictured you saying something like that."

"Then why are you here?" he interrogates.

"Because I still have feelings for you," I say shamelessly, looking him straight in the eye.

His brow remains furrowed, but he doesn't talk back.

"And I wanted to explain why I tried to break up with you," I say calmly.

His face doesn't change.

"It wasn't because my feelings for you changed," I explain. "I only did it because I knew I was hurting you and thought breaking up was the only way you could be happy."

I wait for him, but he doesn't react.

"But now I know how stupid I was. Breaking up when we still like each other won't make either of us happy." I look down, rubbing the back of my neck. "At least, I could never be happy without you."

"You're just feeling that way now because it hurt your pride when I wouldn't take you back," he scoffs.

I pause and bite my lip to stop negative emotions from spilling out in stupid words.

"This isn't my pride speaking," I state.

"Sure," he says, clearly unconvinced.

Dispirited, I stare down at my hands. I didn't really expect him to take my explanation well, but it still hurts.

"Do you think I'd be this determined to get you back if it was just for the sake of my pride?" I try.

"Gee, I don't know," he says sarcastically. "But you sure didn't take your stupidity into consideration before you ended it with me."

I freeze up, having no idea how to respond.

"It sure is cute that you think you can do whatever you want and I'll just follow along blindly. I might've cooperated before, but you're not my boyfriend anymore." He turns away, but I can hear him choking up. "So stop acting like you are."

"Shun," I say softly.

My hand reflexively reaches for him, but the second it touches his head, he ducks. I draw back and watch him in shock.

"You should go," he says. "My friends will be here soon."

By 'friends,' he must mean Chiaki. I bet she's thinking all kinds of gruesome thoughts about me now.