cruel world

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I try not to
think back,
to the good times;
I'd rather forget you.

what once was love
now it lacks
gone,
for what you did.

I don't hate you
l don't,
but only because of myself.

what made you do
something so cruel,
how could you not know?
(in fact I know you did)

what made you suppress,
and never apologize?
you're nothing more than a mess,
but I thought you were the main prize.

I don't need you anymore.
I used to, no friendship was closer,
now I can't even remember why.

I don't wanna lie,
or fool myself into thinking that was okay,
when all my friends experienced the same.

I try not to
think back,
to the bad times;
I'm free now.

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I kept this poem in store for a while now, for me it's probably the most hurtful piece I have - but I think it's important to express and not suppress, coming to terms with even the bad things, putting them into words, talking about it - it helps so much - and finally letting them go.
push out of toxic friendships/relationships - people will fail us, maybe even stab us in the back when we least expect it, but it's about how to be stronger than that and to not look over certain shit and to not be okay with what is and can never be okay.
and about carrying on...

xo, S🌹❤️

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