Butterfly Effect

8: Home

Hailee's Pov

That night Maya went back to their place to prepare the bedroom and some stuff for me. My bedroom and my stuff. It was still weird for me to think that now I had a safe place to go back to if I wanted...
Carina stayed the night curled up on the small armchair next to my hospital bed, with one knee up to her chest and her hands protectively in front of her, almost as a shield from the world. I knew that they were not going to hurt me, and seeing her sleeping next to me because she didn't want me to be alone made me realize that, for the first time, I had someone who really cared about me and my wellbeing.
After thinking for hours about what all of this meant, the exhaustion got the best of me and I fell asleep on that uncomfortable little bed, still with Carina next to me.
"Bambina, I'm sorry that I have to wake you up, but we can officially discharge you" Carina whispered, she sounded calm and joyful; something that made me open my eyes with a smile on my face.
"Hi" I said, still half-asleep, as I looked at Carina, who was standing next to Maya and Jo.
"Hi Hailee, ready to go home?" Maya asked and my smile became wider. I could finally say that I had a place to call home.
"Are you still sure you want me? I can still go away and be on my own if you are not sure..." I asked with my mind full of doubts. I was more than ready to start this new chapter of my life, but the previous one left a nasty scar on me...
"We didn't change our minds overnight" Maya answered with a smile "You can trust us on this, we want you".
I didn't know why, but weirdly I believed her, so after a couple of minutes, I was on a wheelchair in the direction of Carina's car. It was a fucking Porshe...
I stood up and Jo took the chair back inside, saying that she wished me a lot of happiness and that she was always gonna be there for me if I needed her. I was so grateful that she was there with Carina while they worked on my case.
In the car I was quiet, and I was looking outside when suddenly the sound of music from the speakers filled the silence. It was Italian music, and Carina was singing casually while Maya was whispering a couple of words here and there. Watching them being so carefree with each other was new and... Different? Beautiful?
"Do you speak Italian too?" I asked Maya and she looked at me in the rearview mirror.
"No, Unfortunately I don't. I wish I could, but for now I can only say a few things" she explained and I realized that maybe that was something we could do together.
"We could..." I started to say it, but then I stopped myself. Why would she want to do something like that with me? No one had ever wanted to do anything with me, so why bother her with my stupid question?
"What are you saying Bambina?" Carina asked when she noticed that I was lost in my own thoughts, something that for me, as an overthinker, happened a lot.
"Nothing... It's dumb" I said and Maya shook her head.
"I bet that it's not dumb. You can say anything, okay?" she reassured me and I started to play with my fingers, suddenly anxious.
"I thought that we... I don't know... We could try to learn it together. So we can speak with Carina in her own language. She always speaks to us using ours..." the silence filled the car again "See, I knew that it was stupid...".
"Hailee, that's not stupid at all, it's actually really thoughtful, and I would love to learn Italian with you" that sentence calmed me down quickly.
A little bit later, Maya parked the car in front of a simple building and my heart started to beat against my sore ribs. This was... Home?
"It's not much but it's home..." Maya said, getting out of the car and I followed her with wonder painted in my eyes. This place was incredible.
"Trust me, this is way better than a lot of places I've lived in" I noticed Carina looking at me with sadness, but she didn't say anything, probably scared to say the wrong thing. A lot of people reacted that way with me...
On the second floor there was their apartament. It was cozy and simple, full of memories and pictures of friends and family and of the two of them... I felt out of place. I felt like I didn't belong there.
"That is our room, so if you need anything, at any time, you can come and talk to us" Maya explained "And that one... Is your room".
She opened the door of a bedroom with everything that a kid my age might need: it had a huge bed, a desk and a drawer for the stuff that I didn't have yet.
"I left it like this because I thought you wanted to decorate it with things that are more you..." Maya had a curious look on her face as I walked in the room. It was minimal and almost empty, but for me it was already way too much. On the bed, waiting for me, there was a basket with simple things, useful for the moments at home like a toothbrush, a brush, notebooks, and stuff like that.
"Tomorrow we are going to buy you some clothes, but for now, if you want to take a shower, we can give you something of ours to sleep in" Carina softly added and I nodded. I really needed to wash away these past couple of days.
"Can we go to a bookstore?" I asked suddenly "Tomorrow... I mean".
"Yeah, sure. Do you like to read?" Maya asked.
"I love it. It has always been my escape from bad things. A good novel made me feel free" I explained, noticing their eyes "I know it sounds dumb...".
"No Bambina, as we said before, nothing that you might say is stupid. And also, that's actually a beautiful way to see books. Other things that you like?" Carina sounded interested, and I started to tell them about my passions.
"Well the first one is reading. I also love music. I sing a lot and I really love musicals, so last year I joined the school's theater club. and I'm into drawing...".

Carina's Pov

Hailee was an amazing girl. She was passionate, very smart, kind and full of love for life. That made me realize just how resilient she actually was. Everything in her life, including my choices, had tried to push her to the ground and let her without air to breathe, but she was still standing tall with the hint of a smile on her face.
I was so proud to be her birth mother, because I couldn't think of a better young woman than her...
We left her in her room, and I went to take some spare clothes for her, noticing almost instantly the nervous silence that was radiating from my wife. I knew that she was freaking out and I wanted to talk this through with her, because I knew that when she was anxious I couldn't focus on anything but her. I hated to see her like that...
"Bella, what's wrong?" I asked but she shook her head, making me worry even more.
"Maya, talk to me please? What can I do? What do you need?" I blurted out quickly, knowing that Maya loved to have the choice to be touched or not when she was struggling with anxiety.
"I need to... I have to run" she said, but she was lost in her head "I'm going out for a run. I can't be... I can't be here".
She turned toward the door of our apartament, but I softly grabbed her forearm, careful not to trigger her memories of her father, and asking her with my eyes not to go.
"Please stay?" I said, knowing that this was going to be a bigger anxiety attack than what I had originally thought.
"I can't, my love... I need this. I need to run" the panic in her voice convinced me that I wasn't enough to calm her down, so I let her forearm go and she swiftly left the apartament, slamming the door behind her back.
"Carina?" my daughter's voice called me from the hallway "What happened? Where is Maya?".
I was still looking at the door, but I knew that I couldn't stay silent, so I took a deep breath and I turned my attention toward Benedetta and the confused look on her face.
"She was anxious so she went on a run... It's something that she does sometimes when she's overwhelmed. She runs... But don't worry, she'll be back in time for dinner" I explained.
"If I have no reasons to worry, then why are you crying?" she pointed out and I sadly noticed the tears that were wetting my lips. They were salty and tasted like fear...
"It's just difficult to see her like that" I said, drying my tears with my fingertips.
"Is she nervous because of me? It's my fault..." she asked, looking at me like she thought that she didn't deserve to be safe with us.
"No Bambina, trust me, this is not your fault. It's no one's fault. Maya has an illness... It's not physical, so you can't actually see it, but she has a mental illness and anxiety in one of its symptoms. You did nothing wrong..." I simply explained, without making it something bad. It wasn't. It was just how Maya was, and I loved every single thing about her.
"Do you promise?" she asked and I nodded, noticing that something in her eyes changed. She actually believed me.
"Does that happen often?" was the last question I received, as she followed me in the living room.
"No Bella. She runs every morning to stay in shape for her job, she calls it self discipline. But she hardly ever runs when she has anxiety or panic attacks".
"I just don't want to make you or Maya mad... It's the first place that I actually like" she said and I smiled sadly at her.
Why did I let all of this happen to my babygirl? I was terrible and selfish...
"You would never do anything to make me and Maya mad" I said, putting a lock of hair behind her ear "And I'm glad that you feel safe with us. You don't even imagine how happy I am to have you here".

A.N. Hi, I'm back again with a new chapter. This is just the beginnig of this story, so stay tuned for the rest of it. What do you think will happened next? What did you think about this chapter?