Butterfly Effect

22: Chem test and mental health day

Carina's Pov

That morning was the day of the chemistry test that Hailee had prepared with Manon, and when I took her to school she was a nervous mess. I knew that she could do it brilliantly, and I hoped that she knew it too.
When I arrived back at home, I was extremely confused to see my wife's car outside of our building. She was supposed to be at work...
I ran upstairs, opening the door of our apartament and finding her in the kitchen, still with the oversize t-shirt that she had put on to go to sleep on.
"Oh my God" I said, throwing myself in her arms "What are you doing at home? Are you okay? You're supposed to be at work".
"I know, I already asked Andy if she can handle this shift, and I also talked to the chief and to Diane. I just feel off today" she explained.
"You needed a mental health day?" I asked and she nodded, smiling softly but not with her usual bright smile. She seemed tired and lost in her own head, and I realized right away that this was her illness taking over.
"It's okay Bella. Let me call Teddy so I can take the day off and be with you, then I'm making you my amazing french toast so you can take your meds" I explained calmly and then I proceeded to do exactly the steps that I'd just said, knowing that following a routine was something that helped her.
After twenty minutes or so, the smell of french toast invaded our apartament and my wife walked slowly to the table. I smiled softly at her and she tried to respond in the same way, making a small crooked smile that brought tears into her eyes.
Seeing her crying made me alert of everything around us, so I turned off the stove and I walked swiftly toward her, taking her face in my palms.
"I'm... I'm okay..." she whispered "I just don't deserve you and what you are doing for me. for us... I'm overwhelmed by all the love that you have for me".
I hugged her for a moment, then I walked back to the counter and I fixed her plate, bringing it to her with a glass of orange juice and her pills. Then I sat in front of her.
"You deserve it Bella, you deserve it all and even more. It's just your illness that makes you believe otherwise... I love you because you are the most deserving person I know. You are lovable, no matter what everyone else says..." I responded and she mouthed a small "Thank you", swallowing her pills a few seconds later.
After a quiet breakfast, we cleaned the kitchen together, and after we finished, we looked at each other with a shy smile.
"What do you want to do today? We can do whatever you want" I asked and she looked around the apartament.
"I don't have the mental strength to do much..." she started in a whisper "Can we just watch a movie and cuddle? I want to be close to you...".
"Yes, we can definitely watch something" I agreed, walking hand in hand with her to the living room where we sat together on the couch and Maya buried her face in the crook of my neck, trying to be as close to me as possible.
I decided to put on a rom-com because I knew that my wife didn't actually want to watch a movie, but she just wanted to be held tightly. She wanted the feeling of closeness...
We were halfway through the movie when I started to feel the baby move, bringing a small smile to my lips.
Maya still had her face pressed in my neck, breathing in my scent, and her arms wrapped around my body, holding me close to her, but at one point her body tensed up and she sat straight, looking at me in the eyes.
"What is it?" she asked with her hands pressed on my bump. My smile became wider as I put my own hand on top of hers.
"He is kicking" I stated as I looked at her eyes fixed on our joint hands.
"He's what?" she said with a hint of emotion in her voice. Her blue eyes were shining and a couple of tears escaped them...
"He is kicking. He wants to let you know that he's here for you too and that he loves you so much" I said as her head laid back on my shoulder.
"Well, I love you both too" she mumbled and I enjoyed the tender embrace. "And Carina... Thank you for today. This was exactly what I needed" as soon as those words left her mouth, I gave her a simple and sweet kiss, feeling butterflies in my stomach like it was the very first one.

Hailee's Pov

I was standing there in front of the teacher's desk, while Miss Robbs was correcting my test with a weird look on her face.
"I'm Hailee Donovan and I will not be afraid. I'm Hailee Donovan and I will not be afraid. I'm Hailee Donovan an-".
"Hailee" Miss Robbs interrupted my mental reminder and I lifted my eyes to meet hers. She seemed calm as always, and in her gaze I could clearly see something that I was starting to learn thanks to Maya and Carina: pride. She seemed proud of me...
"How did you find studying with Manon?" she asked.
"Oh" I said "It was good. She's a good teacher and a great friend".
"I knew that I'd made the right choice..." she started "You passed the test with 83%, and now you'll have someone who will walk through hell and back with you".
I froze on the spot. Wait, what?!
"You... You made me study with Manon just because you wanted me to have a friend?" I stated, looking my teacher in the eyes.
"I thought that with this big change you could've used a friend" she responded and I smiled. She was right. Without Manon I would have probably freaked out at all of the changes in my life.
"thank you, Miss Robbs" I simply said, walking out of the room and finding my best friend waiting for me.
"So? How did it go? Did you pass it?" she rumbled, and I found her nervousness utterly adorable.
"I got 83%. I passed it" I answered and she started to cheer on me with a wonderful wide smile.
"I knew it!" she exclaimed "I knew that you could do it, Smartass".
"I couldn't have done it without you, Manon" I replied and she shook her head.
"You did it, I was just there for you" and with that we walked to the next class.
At the end of the day, we were walking toward our houses when I stopped on the sidewalk, my head spinning with bad thoughts.
"Lia, what is it?" she asked, stopping in front of me.
"Are... Are we still going to be friends? Now I don't need your help anymore, you have no reason to be my friend..." I blurted out, starting to feel my head spinning.
Manon grabbed my cheeks delicately, bringing my eyes into hers. They were beautiful and green like the leaves on the trees in a forest.
"Jas... Jasper told you more than once. You are too much for someone like me. Why would you spend your time with a loser?" I stuttered.
"Jasper is a douchebag, you don't have to listen to him" she started "And I spend my time with you Lia, because I want to. Because you are sweet and kind... Your heart is bigger than the whole sky, and you are funny, and loyal, and smart, and compassionate, and beautiful...".
The air got stuck in my lungs as I listened to her list about me. Did she really think all of that?
"You matter in my life, and yes... We became friends because Miss Robbs asked us to study chemistry together, but now it's a lot more than that" she exclaimed and those words got stuck in my head. It's a lot more than that... Did she mean what I was thinking or was it my brain that was reading between lines that didn't even exist?
I wasn't thinking, but she was still close to me and her eyes were looking at me like I was the only person in the world, so I leaned in and I pressed my lips on hers.
The kiss was hesitant at first, maybe because it took her by surprise, but when she started to respond to it, everything became perfect.
Her lips were soft against mine and they tasted like roses and chocolate, and that little detail made me smile because I knew how much she loved dark chocolate...
The kiss was nothing that I've ever had before. She was careful and sweet, different from the rough mixture of teeth and tongue that was what I was used to.
It was nice to be able to kiss someone and not feel the taste of cigarettes and the smell of alcohol. It was nice to feel careful and shy fingers on my cheeks and not hands that wanted to leave marks on my skin...
All about that kiss was perfect, new and exciting.
After a while, we started to get lost in each other. So, when her tongue asked permission for entering my mouth, I responded in the same way.
This feeling was making me dizzy. It was making me feel alive.
When her tongue touched mine calmly, my fingers moved from her waist to her head, intertwining them in her beautiful, shiny blond locks.
When a moan escaped from my throat, I realized what I had just done and what was happening with Manon. It was too much...
I moved away from her swiftly, looking at her messy blond hair where my fingers were and staring at her swollen lips.
What have I done?
"I'm... I can't..." I mumbled, lowering my gaze to my pair of black vans "I... I have to go".
With that I ran away, hiding the tears that were pooling in my eyes.
I had just ruined everything... I screwed up, and all I wanted to do was to run to the apartament. To run home...

A.N. Don't hate me too much today, everything has its purpose.