Almost Had Me (Passion Book 2)

Chapter Twenty-One

I hadn't slept slept well. My mind kept straying to Eddie, and the lost look on his face as I had left. I felt guilty, but I also needed to think. Which was nearly impossible when he was around.

I loved him. More than I'd loved anyone. He was my soul mate. But did that mean that we should be together? Could I live without him now that I'd found him? Now that we were wanting to make this work? It had only been two weeks since I'd gotten back from Pennsylvania. So much had happened since then. I wanted to make this work. But was it worth the energy? I knew that I had my own insecurities, but it was like he thought he was unlovable or something. Even though that was far from the truth.

I wanted to be the one to show him that. But, maybe I was wrong for him.

The thought made it hard to breathe. I wanted to be good for him. But was I willing to help him battle his demons? I had my own.

Getting up, I took my time getting ready. I felt... optimistic in a way. I felt that today would be a good day. I wanted it to be a good day. I would tell Eddie that I didn't care if he kept secrets, just that I wanted him to know that I loved him no matter what.

Maddie was gone by the time I got out of the shower. Her shift must have started early. Sitting on the counter were the Jeep keys. Did she get a ride with someone?

I made breakfast and cleaned my dishes. I was excited to see Eddie.

Locking up, I headed towards the stairs, taking them two at a time.

When I opened the door, I found Corrine pacing in the parking lot. She looked up when she heard me approach. She was standing by the Jeep. What the fuck was she doing here?

Her eyes were large in her face as she stared at me. Her lips parted. The wind whipped her hair around her face, in a torrent of dark brown.

The sky was grey today. It would no doubt rain.

"Evan," she whispered.

"Leave," was all I could say. I wanted nothing to do with her. "Please leave."

She closed the distance between us. I took a step back, and then she threw her arms around my neck and pressed her lips to mine.

Panic gripped my chest, constricting. I tried to push her off, but I didn't want to hurt her.

"No!"

I pushed her away from me, taking huge quick steps away from her. My eyes locked on the truck that was pulled up against the curb, and the man who was striding towards us.

No.

Why was he here? He No doubt saw what happened.

He moved around Corrine, pushing me behind him, fury burning in his eyes.

"Leave him alone. NOW." His voice was deceptively quiet, but there was strength behind it.

"You don't deserve him." She sneered.

"And you think you do? You're stalking him."

"Quit talking about me like I'm not here!" I snapped, stepping out from behind Eddie. The wind ruffled his short, dark hair. "And leave me alone. I don't want anything to do with you. We're through. I'm tired of these games with you, Corrine."

"He's not good for you."

I ran a hand violently through my hair. "And you're obsessed with me. It needs to end. Today."

"I will always fight to be with you."

"Enough," Eddie roared. "We're going to be late."

He grabbed my hand, pulling me in the direction of his truck. I followed willingly, feeling suddenly emotionally exhausted. Once in the cab, it began to rain, water splattering the windshield.

He slammed his door once he was in, looking murderous. But I could see that he was emotionally exhausted as well. His knuckles were pale, and he gripped the steering wheel but didn't start the truck.

"Ed..." I whispered.

"You will never do that again."

"Of course, I won't." I snapped, offended that he thought I wanted to kiss her.

He sighed, closing his eyes. Upon opening them, he started the truck.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't take my anger out on you."

I took his free hand, squeezing his fingers gently. "Apology accepted."

We drove for a few minutes in silence. "Why are you here?"

He stiffed slightly. "I-I came to talk."

I glanced up at him. Now he wanted to talk?

"What changed?"

"Watching you walk away last night - when I could have just talked to you and resolved everything.... I felt so stupid. You're my partner. I shouldn't be so closed off with you."

"I get it. It's not easy talking about who you used to be."

We were at a stop light, and he turned to face me, his eyes wary. "What if I'm still that same person? I used to be worse than I am now. Even more toxic, if that's even possible."

The light turned green and he turned back to the road. The truck began to move. We said nothing. I was silent because I was pondering over his words, but decided that it didn't matter. He was getting better. I could see the efforts he made to be better.

I knew that my fate was intertwined with his. Without him, I was nothing. And I knew that he felt the same way.

I'd just been coasting through life before I met him. Now, I truly felt alive.

I watched as a tear slid down his cheek. My heart jolted.

"What's wrong?"

"I've fucked so much up." He wiped at his cheek.

"So have I."

"I never knew that love could be so... hard."

That confused me. "You were married. Are married."

"But I never loved Shannon like I love you. You know that."

"But you loved her. Still love her."

"I do," his voice was small. "But because we have a kid together. Because we shared some good moments together. I'm bonded with her."

"I know." I couldn't feel jealous at that. He'd left her to be with me.

That didn't mean I felt any less guilty, though.

Twenty minutes later, we pulled into the parking lot of the firehouse. Surprisingly, we were only a few minutes late.

"I think we should tell them."

"Who?"

"You know who I'm talking about."

I did. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. But our relationship would be hard to hide here. Our coworkers needed to know.

"Then let's do it."

He smiled.

Once out of the truck, he took my hand, and we walked through the open bay door, my heart ready to beat itself out of my chest.