Almost Had Me (Passion Book 2)

Chapter Eighteen

I took Maddie a plate of breakfast. She was still in the spare room; I could hear her moving around, pacing. 

Before opening the door, I knocked lightly. She was sitting on the bed, staring at her fingers. She didn't look up at me as I entered. My stomach twisted uncomfortably. 

"I brought you some food," I murmured, trying to keep my voice light and soft. 

Her voice is lifeless when she said, "Thanks," 

Taking a deep breath, I set the plate on top of the dresser, moving to sit beside her. She didn't react as I took my seat. This was how I remembered her at the beginning. She'd been depressed, a far cry from the spunky girl I remembered growing up. Her brown eyes were dull, and her skin was pale. I could still see the bruises around her neck, and I felt cold looking at them. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered. 

"What?" 

"I ruined your night last night." She finally looked at me, tears in her eyes. 

I embrace her, pulling her close. She hesitated before clinging to me, and letting her tears fall. "Oh, Buck!" she sobbed. 

"I'm here," I soothed. "I'll always be there to protect you." 

She pulled away, glaring at me. "You can't protect me forever. You have your own life to live." 

"But you need me," I pointed out. 

"I can take care of myself. I want you to move in with Eddie." 

I felt my eyes widen. "Where is this coming from?" 

"I did a lot of thinking be-before..." she trailed off, fighting back a sob. "I wanted to protect you from him because he's hurt you before. But you're happy. I want you to move in here." 

I bit my lip. What could I say to that? That I was going to tell him that I couldn't? That last night had been a wake up? 

Fuck! So much had happened in a day. 

"Just promise me you'll say yes." 

"I can't. I have to tell him no." 

She scowled, wiping away her tears. Why had this become about me? 

"You need to live your life, Buck. You do everything for everyone." 

"That's not true." 

"You do everything for me." 

"You're my sister." I reminded her. "I will do anything I can to keep you around." 

She sighed, shifting so that she could look at me better. She took my hands in hers. "I've lived my entire adult life in fear. I haven't take risks because I'm not afraid of just him. I'm afraid of everything. And it's keeping me from living my life. Please don't be like me." 

I looked down at our hands. Hers were so small compared to mine. 

"I'm scared that if I do move in with Eddie, then I won't be able to live whatever life I'd want." 

"I know. But you also have to take the leap. Maybe he can give you the life you want." 

I took a deep, shaky breath. "I don't know if I'm ready to be a parent." 

"Set boundaries. Take things slow. Get to know the kid." 

"If I move in here, then I'll be thrust into his life. No passing go. What happens if things turn sour again?" 

She squeezed my hands. "Stop living in fear. You have to believe that everything will work out. And they will between you two." 

"How do you know?" 

"I talked to him last night when you went into the apartment." 

"What??" I demanded, pulling my hands out of hers. "You'd been through something traumatic! You shouldn't have been discussing my relationship with my boyfriend." 

"I needed something else to focus on. He was very forthcoming." 

My cheeks felt hot. What the hell had he said? 

"He wants to marry you." Her voice was soft. 

"I know." I snapped. 

"I know that you don't want to get married." 

"That's what I'm talking about." I sighed. "He's looking for a life long commitment. He's looking for a father for his child. But I'm new to this. This is my second serious relationship, and it's gone further than the last. He has a kid, and his he's about a two weeks into his separation with his wife. There's so many variables. So much to think about." 

"Do you love him?" 

I glanced up at her. "Of course I do." 

"Then the rest you can both figure out. That's what partners do. They face things together." 

She was right. Why was she always fucking right? 

Unlike me, she was a casual observer of my relationship with Eddie. She could see things from an unbiased view (although, maybe not totally unbiased considering that she was my sister). She could see things for how they truly were. 

"Enough about me. How are you doing?" 

Her face fell a little. But there was strength in her eyes. "I'll survive. And next time, I'll kill him." 

"I'm assuming you made an attempt?" I asked, remembering the blood I'd found. 

"Damn right I did." 

"That's my girl," I smiled, pulling her into another hug. "Will you come eat breakfast with us? You don't have to. But we could probably reheat your food." 

"I'd love to. I'd like to learn more about your new family." 

I gave her a shaky smile. 

My new family. 

I guessed that it was true. And suddenly, I didn't feel afraid.