Love Blaine

Chapter 17

⚠️TW: alcohol addiction

Blaine can't find the courage to talk. Not about his dad and not about the big question mark behind his sexuality. Not to Wes or even Kurt. He tried yes. But he never went through with it.

He has no clue how many letters he started writing since he knows Kurt but ended up not sending them or even finish them and they were all about his dad. Kurt told him that he can talk to him and tell him everything. Blaine never forgets that and it would be good to tell someone. He just needs to find the right words. Or any words at all.

The situation with Robert got worse. He hides more behind his work and if not then he's drunk or getting drunk. Blaine hides in his room more and more and he's sure that even his mom starts to get scared around her husband. But she doesn't speak up and Blaine understads that because he doesn't either.

At least Blaine can spend half a day in school with Wes distracting him and Robert stays perfectly quiet during Blaines tutoring sessions. Blaine still hates them but at least his dad is out of the house or behaves somewhat like a normal person. But if some weekends are bad already what will happen during the summer holidays? Does he even want to find out?

Blaine knows he should talk to someone and more and more he gets the feeling like he eeds to get it off his chest and no matter how many times it'll take him to put it in words he knows just the one person to tell.

>>><<<

Dear Kurt
I stopped counting how many letters I threw away again but I need to get this off my chest. Remember when I said that my dad is strickt and you said that I can talk to you and I said that I need to find the right words? I still don't have the right words but I want to try now.
My dad is not a good man. As a small boy or until a few years ago I didn't really got what he does and how bad it is. But I do by now and have the courage to tell someone. Or at least I think so as I'm writing this.
He's an alcoholic since I can think. He always was weird and I remember when I was seven and saw him passed out on the couch. My mom told me that he had a hard day so he's taking a nap before dinner is ready. I believed her. I even covered him up with a blanket.
When I got older he started ordering me around. Bring me a beer! Bring me a whiskey! Open my beer! Put a new bottle beer in the fridge! And so on. I think you get it.
If he had a bad day and drank he also tends to get aggressive. I would go out or in my room and when I think enough time passed and I come back I almost always find him passed out on the couch.
It's sad to say this but I got used to it and even sadder to say that my mom did too. She has to live like that longer than me but we both just go with it.
We don't really talk about it with others. Never actually. I don't know about her but this is the first time I open up about this to someone. I have a reason tho becaus everytime I think about opeining up I think about the reactions I could get. I'm writing you because I know I can trust you and you are different than other people.
I imagine being the person who hears someone tell me about that situation and if I wouldn't know how it feels I would think about answers like "Why don't you just leave?" Like when my mom wouls talk to the 'wrong' person they would just say "Divorce him and move out" or something.
In reality it's not that easy and I sometimes am scared of my dad when he's aggressive but my mom is too. At least I think she is.
I never thought that I'd be happy to go to school but it gives me a reason to leave the house for half a day or so and if I think weekends are bad I don't know how holidays will look like.
Okay so this letter was pretty deep. Changing the topic: How was your week?

Love Blaine

>>><<<

Dear Blaine
We trust each other so I'm gonna be brutally honest with you,
Your dad is a very bad person and from what I read also dangerous from time to time, I understand your points, At first I would've wanted to say the same and tell you to leave but when I try to imagine being in your position I would find it quite hard and not very helpful,
I'm honored that you trust me and told me this and if you need help promise to write me and I can help you as good as I can as soon as I get the letter, Also please please seek for help when it gets really bad at home so someone else can help while the letter is on it's way, I don't want to have the situation for it to be to late for my help and to wait for the letter to arrive here,
You and your mom are in a very serious and complicated position, I hope you both know that and hold onto each other because you need each other a lot I'd guess, Talk to each other and open up to each other, If she doesn't maybe you should make a start,
Does your mom has someone she trusts enough to tell everything like you told me? I think that's really important now,
My week was okay, We're preparing our middle school graduation so it's a bit stressful but in a good way,

No question but sending you and your mom a lot of strength and love and please don't hesistate to text me or turn to Wes,

Love Kurt

>>><<<

Only after sending the letter away a question comes to Kurts mind "Is it okay if I talk to my dad about it?". Maybe the reason why Blaine told him is because he trusts him to tell no one. But on the other hand is this serious and besides hoping Blaine's okay and sending him love and strength Kurt doesn't know what to do or say.

He's worried that something happens to Blaine. They learned in school what different drugs, alcohol was one of them, can do to someone and how it affects people. Blaine would tell him if things escalate right?

So for now he'll keep it for him and maybe some day he'll talk to his father. And even if he does his father doesn't has to know the situation is about Blaine.