Love Blaine

Chapter 6

Blaine lost his appetite, not going down for dinner. Instead he writes Kurt a letter, getting it ready to send it away on his way to school. Then he opens the box, looking through old letters from Kurt. First those where they talk about grades to seak comfort in Kurt telling him he often get B's and C's and that he shouldn't preasure himself too much and then also other letters. The time flies by fast.

By now he's hungry again but he knows his dad had been drinking so he doesn't leave his room before going to school tomorrow. When he was little he didn't really knew what his dad was doing but by now he knows that he drinks and also knows which effect alcohol has on him.

"Blaine? Are you still awake?" Pam asks after knocking on the door gently. "Yes. Is dad?" Blaine asks back, just loud enough for Pam to hear it on the other side of the door. "No. Passed out on the couch as always" his mother answers and a few seconds later the door to Blaines room opens for her to enter.

"I thought because you didn't eat dinner I bring you some. I warmed it up for you. It's just a simple pasta but at least you eat something" Pam says, placing the plate on Blaines desk. He smiles at her thankfully and starts eating.

"Don't beat yourself up too much about this. I think your father overreacted. A C is still better than a F because then I'd be worried and it's the first exam in the new school year and the first time you got something below an A-" Pam tells and asks "New letter for Kurt?" when she spots the envelope on the desk.

Blaine nods "Yeah I pass the post office tomorrow on my way to school and back so I can drop it off". He thought this through. Since it's on his way his dad won't notice that he doesn't come home directly. They both thought this through when Pam explained her son how to send letters away over a year ago.

>>><<<

Dear Blaine
Don't beat yourself up about it too much, As you know I'm actually quite proud if I get A's but luckily my dad is okay with B's and C's,
Sure he isn't too happy if I come home with a D or something like when I had a black out, But he just said it can happen to anyone and it happened,
And I don't think your math teacher hates you, Maybe it was a hard test and most of the class got bad grades, Or maybe you had a blackout like I had and that's normal, We're humans, not machines,
Just go through the tutoring sessions and keep in mind:
    - Keep calm, keep breathing
    - You're human
    - Blackouts are normal
    - The next exams will be better, I'm sure about that c: and my fingers are crossed,
Haven't got our exams back because our teachers are kinda slow in correcting but I suppose next week so I keep you updated on that,
If you already had one how was the first tutoring session?
Love Kurt

>>><<<

Dear Kurt
Your dad sounds awesome. I figured that even tho I said my parents it's really just my dad. My mom and I talked and she's okay with the C. Not quite the same mindset as your dad but much better than mine.
After that one time with an D, did you ever had a blackout agian? I'm kinda scared that this maybe happened to me or maybe will happen. How does a blackout during exams feel?
Maybe Mr. Meyer hates me, maybe he doesn't but I don't like him anymore that much is clear now. The best teacher is still Miss Tiger and always will be Miss Tiger (she did the ballon thing with us).
I think my dad kinda wants me to not be a human. Or a child. He said I'm grounded until my grades are better so until we get back the next exams I only see Wes in school and have to go straight home from school to leave. And until the next exams we don't get to know if my grades are better again.
Thanks for the advices. I keep them in mind. Especially the one with keep breathing. I would've forgotten to do that if you wouldn't have reminded me ;)
First tutoring session was okay. Actually kinda boring. My tutor is an old man (honestly he could be my grandfather) and he explains everything so complicated.
You should have get your exams back by now. Did you get any A's this time?
Love Blaine

>>><<<

Dear Blaine
Sorry to say this so straight forward but your dad sucks (at least what you wrote about him), He doesn't like you making music, he overreacts over a C and you're grounded for almost three months before that, At least your mom is okay,
About the blackout, It can happen if you stress yourself too much (that's why I said breathing but I'm glad I reminded you because I don't want you to die from lack of oxigen), You can study as much as you want but if you have a blackout in an exam it feels like your head is empty,
You try to remember what you learned for but it jsut wanished from your memory and your head feels empty, Your try to write something and answer the questions and do the tasks but it all seems wrong but at least you wrote something so there could be a chance that maybe some of the stuff is right and sometimes you can't write something at all,
And then you go home and beat yourself up about it because when you look over the stuff again it all seems so easy and clear and you feel dumb for not remembering that in the exam, But I think blackouts can be different for everyone,
Okay I just realized how deep that sounds especially after you said you're afraid, Sorry, You don't need to be afraid because I keep saying it because it's true, you are human and blackouts are okay,
Older people know older methods to solve math problems, That's why it sounds more complicated since it's a different way than they teach us at school, Best is to try both, see what's easier for you and then talk about it with your tutor so he can adjust to what's best for you,
Now to make you feel better and more human, My grades, I got one A, two B's and the rest C's, Those grades are okay, I'm okay with them,
Old or new ways to solve math problems? Did you figured out already?
Love Kurt