Observation - Cillian Murphy

The Flashback

The sleepless nights caught up with me as I walked to the door, feeling less patient after each doorbell. I didn't expect to see him stand on my doorstep so close to me.

I sighed. "Did Angela send you here?" I asked, running through my short hair with my thin fingers.

Cillian nodded, walking into the apartment past me.

"Why? Are you irritated?" Cillian noticed.

"I'm not ... I've just," I paused, looking at the floor. "I haven't slept in a while."

"What do you mea-"

I interrupted Cillian instantly. "I mean exactly what I've said." I paused. "I'm sorry ... how are you?" I added.

"I'm doing badly, I'm doing well, whichever you prefer."

"You're quoting Kafka, right?" I smiled.

Cillian chuckled, nodding. "I remember I've heard you talk about it somewhere." He put his hand on his forehead, trying to remember. "Can't recall where."

I laughed. "I think it was over dinner."

He nodded. "I've brought you the interview, by the way." He handed one into my hands.

Cillian sat down on the large leather sofa I've had in my hallway. Right next to it stood floor-to-ceiling windows covered with ruffled curtains, although they still let a lot of light into the area.

In front of the sofa stood a marble table with tiny opaque accessories and candles. The TV and other small cushions took most of the space of the mini version of the 'living room' I've had. As much as I wanted Cillian to like my apartment, he seemed unphased by it.

I remained in the same spot, staring at the magazine cover. It was a picture of me posing against the blue drawing in a violet dress I'd favored the most.

At the top, it said 'O-magazine' in large, cursive green letters. My gaze then shifted to different sides of the cover:

HORROR AND WOMEN (different or similar?)

Rochelle Vion about the upcoming STARVED movie

-

METAPHORS THROUGH FASHION: how can you draw inspiration from real-life events?

At the bottom, my full name spelled in the same style as the header. After analysing each detail of the cover, I opened the page of the interview.

ROCHELLE VION on STARVED, empowerment of women, and personal issues.

BY: Helen Moore

11 Mar 2023

Photographed by Gabriel Lee, styled by Carrie Jones and Max Tanner, for O-Magazine, March 2023.

"Why did you say that about me?" Cillian redirected my attention to reality.

I raised my eyebrow. "Said what?"

Cillian took the paper from my hands and began to read:

RV has revealed the respectful side of Cillian Murphy has been a facade and an act. In reality, Cillian has presented several problems to the star of the STARVED, both on set and in real life.

Cillian looked at me. "What's this, Rochelle?"

"I don't know."

"Oh, you don't know, yeah?" Cillian snarled.

I sighed deeply. "I didn't say that. I just said you were a little annoying."

Cillian furrowed his eyebrows. "A small mention of negativity makes them write something awful. You know what these writers want. How could you forget, Rochelle?"

I put my hands on my head. "Okay, I blurted out something stupid. I'm sorry!"

Cillian continued to read,

Rochelle had further dived into her relationship with Cillian during our interview. She'd stated that on one of their dinners, Cillian called her 'obnoxious.'

We still don't know what happened between these two, but we for sure know what was the root cause. Months ago, at one of the largest exhibitions, RV had a displeasing interaction with Cillian Murphy, where she spilled a drink onto his 'expensive' attire.

"No way," I snatched the paper from Cillian's hand, reading the same paragraph, not believing my eyes. I dropped the magazine, speechless.

"I didn't say this, I swear I didn't!" I Paused, " Oh, my god!"

Cillian flashed me a relaxed expression. Suddenly, he started to laugh, making me more confused each second.

I glanced at him. "I think it was that girl from the bathroom."

His gaze sharply fixed on me. All of a sudden, I couldn't feel the same energy from him anymore.

"Did you get drunk or something? This," Cillian pointed at the paragraph. "It's not a joke or something entertaining you could do. It's my reputation," He voiced. "and money."

"You have no idea how it was," I responded, narrowing my eyes at him.

Cillian raised his eyebrow. "Oh, I don't know?"

"Yes. Exactly." I crossed my hands.

He peeked out the window. "You know, Rochelle, you think you know best all the time. Well, you don't!" Cillian shifted his attention back to me.

"How exactly, Mister Cillian?"

He exhaled, looking straight into my eyes. "You make every decision in your life based on how selfish you feel that day."

I stayed silent, letting Cillian continue. "You always blame your problems onto others, like that 'girl from the bathroom' or whoever comes to your head. Every time you start talking, I just want to shield my ears and not listen to your nonsense."

"Okay," I nodded.

"I don't know, Rochelle. It's like you have this subconscious fear of being happy. You ruin yourself by letting your thoughts control you!" He blurted out. "What do you even want from me?"

I looked into his eyes. "What do I want from you?"

Cillian remained quiet. "Nothing, I don't want anything from you." I scoffed. "If you don't like how I act," I motioned my hand to the door. "The exit is here."

For a second, I wanted to run away. Even such a peaceful temple as my apartment couldn't protect me. I felt as if I was born to begging, begging to be loved, seen, begging to live. I didn't want to believe Cillian, with his slicked-back ideal hair and ocean eyes, which stabbed you the moment he was angry.

I touched my hair, shaking my head in disbelief. "Isn't there someone else you could torture? "

"Probably, but I choose you."

Cillian stood up, throwing the magazine on my table and flashing an annoyed expression. He put on his dark sunglasses, which matched the raven shirt and jeans he wore that day. Slowly, he disappeared from my apartment, leaving me all alone.

"Fuck!" I yelled out loud, deciding to head to the bathroom the same second.

Hot drops of water touched my skin, though I still had the goosebumps from earlier. Maybe it was how Cillian phrased it that hurt me, or it was how I looked up to him so dearly and so vulnerably to let him talk this way. Why couldn't I just stand up for myself?