Observation - Cillian Murphy

Evil (but captivating) Eyes

Angela has stayed with me since the beginning of my work experience. Almost four years now. You could call her my acting mother.

As for the new assignment, I was delighted to return to my favorite film genre— horror.

Playing quiet on the surface and the completely unhinged women inside only satisfied me. Perhaps, in my finite body, I wanted to reprise all things in reality. It would be fun to experiment!

Looking back at the beautiful self-portrait, I decided to observe the painting near it. Being named 'Dancing Sun', the artwork radiated beauty.

The woman on it brought her glitter-golden hands up. She bit down on a small strand of hair from the wind. Some glitter had fallen down her forehead, but she didn't care. She continued dancing wildly in the endless desert of the background.

I tried looking into the details. Failing to find something other than shiny paint, I stepped back.

"Hey! Look where you're going, young Lady!" A man behind me shouted. His voice appeared captivating and heavy.

Multiple seconds passed when I realised my mistake— I'd spilt my Gin over some guy's suit. One part of me laughed, but the other wanted to apologise. The compassionate part weighed down more.

"Oops...sorry. Didn't mean to spill this." I murmured.

He looked at me with evil eyes, which were unsuitable for his soft-cat-like features. Strands of long dark hair fell on his forehead. He wore an expensive blue suit, which had to suffer greatly today. It was the only attribute that matched his eyes.

"You just ruined my entire evening!"

"Well, I'm sorry, Mister. You also need to watch your way when wandering up to someone with a drink!" I responded harshly.

Immediately realising where I was, I confidently walked to the bar. And after placing the empty glass, I exited the building. It was truly absurd. All though, incredibly humorous.

The man had to be some business man, which later I would find out on the pages of newspaper articles. But for now, I put out a cigarette. Lightning it up, a stranger appeared next to me. He spoke softly, but I couldn't grasp the meaning. All the words and the lights confused me together into a messy tunnel.

I opened my eyes in a dim room with open windows, my soul's trait. I never liked to grasp for air in the bedroom. Even after opening the windows, the problem continued chasing me.

A light breeze entered the room, slowly rocking the ruffled curtains. Nightlights fell on the wooden floor of my bedroom. Insomnia. Again.

Most of the time, I couldn't sleep. Even when I tried hard, it seemed nerving. Melatonin and prescribed drugs worked, but with side effects I never liked on myself: breaking nails, falling hair, dirty skin and disgust when looking in the mirror. I was like a corpse searching for help underground.

I got up from the ruffled green sheets of the bed and walked over to the window. London at three am seemed alive. I lit my cigarette, puffing smoke into the city air. A lady walked along the street in a cosy coat. I watched her stop by the pharmacy store while looking down at her purse. Blowing out more air, I gazed at a group of teenagers strolling around and screaming in happiness. I chuckled while inhaling the cigarette. If only I were as careless as they were.

My life now was perfect, but some things were still missing, like my sleep quality. Usually, when I woke up at such time, I picked up a book. It appeared to work with characters living in front of my eyes. Surprisingly, I was never tired of reading.

When I finished smoking, I ran through my short hair with my long fingers and walked to the library room. The big circle shelf was the only light in the room. I skimmed through the books to find an appropriate one for today's session.

'The Bell Jar' by Sylvia Plath seemed to stare at me across the shelves. I thought to myself, smiling, 'Don't seduce me to read you again'. Finally grabbing it, I sat on a soft dark armchair.

'In the morning, I'll feel better', I thought again, while the mysterious book about insanity seemed to wrap me further.