Observation - Cillian Murphy

Vibrant Palettes

The interviewer wrote it down in her notebook. "Now, about your career." She paused. "One of the most popular questions asked by our readers- Who inspires you for your style and fashion?"

I chuckled. "I think myself? Fashion is one of the biggest passions in my life. Ever since I was young, I always tried spicing up my outfit as much as I could: belts, purses, and small jewellery pieces. It's the tiny things that shape the full look." I paused, taking a sip of mineral water. "I draw inspiration from places, photography I create and people around me: their ideas, fantasies, for example."

Helene's mouth curved into a wide smile. "That sounds great. Next time I get outside, I'll pay more attention to my surroundings." She said, turning the page of her notebook.

"You've starred in an enormous amount of movies from different genres. Is there a specific genre you would like to act in the most?" my interviewer continued.

I looked up at the ceiling, analysing each line on it as I thought of my answer. "I've always wanted to star in a rom-com. Surprising as it sounds, I haven't received a proposal yet, only the stomach-hurting type of ones."

Helene nodded. "I'm sure you will get one soon, after this interview for sure!"

I shrugged. "Perhaps I don't have the right 'description' to be in a movie of that genre. Well, that's what I've been hearing around."

Helene's eyes sparkled under the sun rays. "I don't think so-"

I interrupted her, adding up. "People often think I'm a 'bitch' just because of the way I look or walk on the street before actually meeting me. Well, not to mention I got called 'obnoxious' once."

Trying to maintain herself, Helene broke into laughter, making me smile. "Rochelle, I want you to know that it's not about you- people insulting or not choosing you. It might feel like that, but that's just a total lie." Helene voiced, scanning her notebook for new questions.

Something inside me moved, perhaps appreciating what Helene had said to me. In our lives, we often forget that other people have their battles within them. They might project onto their families, friends, or even online to feel better about themselves and their lives.

It occurred to me I'd misread and misjudged situations due to my past experiences with my Mother- she'd never chosen me, or at least pretended to. Her ignorance shaped my independence and ability to think for myself from an early age, which hurt me like a blade in the heart, no matter where I went or what I experienced.

"Moving on from that, " My interviewer smiled, bringing me back from my trance. "Do you think you've found your dream job, being an actress, to be specific?"

I nodded. "Very much so! Acting is both passion and therapy for me. I mean, I get to play so many incredible characters living polar opposite lives all around the globe. How cool is that?"

"Totally!" Helene laughed.

"If I wasn't an actress right now, I feel like I'd write or model." I continued. "Since an early age, I just had this feeling of being famous. Like, within my core. I think... It's what inspires me as well."

"That is truly heartwarming," my interviewer expressed. "Our last question- What are your plans for the future?" She asked before looking up at me with her devoted attention.

"I don't see any utter visions right now," I paused, sipping my drink again. "Perhaps I want to live life and explore more internally and externally and see what happens without any pushes."

"But I mean, there has to be something you're longing for."

I listened, staring at the rise of bubbles in my glass of water.

"I think I can't wait to finish this interview." I expressed, smiling.

* * *

On the upcoming day, a variety of radiant outfits stared at me from the wardrobe. Each look consisted of different pieces of wardrobe but got always paired with vibrant tights underneath.

Analysing the board with each picture of mine from the fitting, I noticed how harmoniously the elements worked together. Alone, they seemed plain and mismatched, but once you wore them- you felt exquisite.

The milky-white room contained every essential section for the photoshoot, feeling spacious. The other 'location zone' was in the smaller room behind the open wooden door near a sign announcing it.

I stared at my reflection when Carrie, my makeup artist, walked to my table, her hands full of eye shadow palettes and lipstick shades.

Putting my hands out for help, I chuckled. "Is this all for me?"

Carrie nodded her head. "You will have a lot of looks today, so they told me to get specific colors, which is insane!" She sighed, bringing one of the brushes from her pouch.

2 hours until the photoshoot

Both Carrie and Max worked on my look. While Max fixed the hair extensions on my short hair, Carrie curled my eyelashes and applied mascara on them afterwards.

Other crew members flooded the dressing zone, where they fixed obvious 'imperfections' of the gowns or shirts, creating the sounds of hangers against the metal tubes. I looked down at my bare feet, feeling the coldness of the floor tiles. I shifted my attention to a large variety of different types of shoes standing under the table.

Once I stepped over to the location zone, I felt odd but comforted by antique sofas, mismatched chairs and other weird-looking pieces of furniture, which repulsed with its' enhancing features. Surprisingly, it smelled of wood, making you addicted.

Mysteriously, I posed against the blue drawing, putting my hands on the azure table with matching flowers standing on it. The texture of the fabric felt soft and moved under my slim fingers. I remembered this moment the most, as the dress was phenomenal. Its' smoothness and opaque violet colors hugged my chest, gradually thinning in the stomach area, showing it off but covering the rest of the legs and pelvis.

I had to change my outfit various times after taking tons of pictures by the treasured furniture. With time, this job morphed into an endless cycle of chaos, which sucked me in pretty fast. I couldn't let go of the thrill until I stumbled across an image of Cillian laying on one of the tables.

Suddenly, my heart quickly transported itself through my veins down to my toes. I looked up at Carrie, who closed the palettes. Clutching my fist hard, I felt devastated, almost betrayed.

"Wait, why is this here?" I asked, picking up the picture.