airports // 5sos au

xxxviii.

{meghan}

Days Until the Wedding: 5

"Where's Ash?" Emily asks me. She's sitting on the floor behind me while I sit at my desk, doing my job. I look up straight ahead and a wave of sadness washes over me when I see Ashton's desk empty.

"Who knows?" I shrug. I have a feeling that I know, though. I think Ashton asked Tom, his boss , for different working hours. It hurts to think that he's avoiding me, but I've kind of been avoiding him, too. I've been avoiding pretty much everyone these past few days. Well, everyone except Chris. He's my only friend that isn't caught up in the wedding drama and the Ashton drama. It's nice to not think about the chaos going on. It's nice to escape that when I'm with Chris.

"Nobody's seen him," Emily groans, "I think he just went back to sulking after Luke and I took him out and tried to cheer him up."

"Y'all went and saw him?" I ask nervously.

"Yeah, just to make sure he was okay."

"And is he?" I turn slightly to look at her, "Okay, I mean?"

"If I'm being honest, he didn't look okay. I mean, he kept saying he was alright but he looks like a mess. He misses you, I can tell."

"It's not my fault if he misses me," I sigh. I miss him, too, but now isn't the time to focus on us. Hell, there isn't even an 'us'. He's just been so confusing lately and I can't figure him out. He's my best friend, but he can't tell me anything. I just don't know what to do. Scratch that, I can't do anything if he can't tell me what's wrong.

All he said to me was "I just want you, Meghan" . That was before I walked out on him. God, what the hell did he expect when he said that? Why did he say that? Did he even mean it? What the fuck did he even mean by that? It's all too confusing for me to focus on right before this damn wedding.

"I guess it's just hard to have him disappear on all of us like this. Luke really misses him."

"We all miss him," I nod, "I just can't worry about fixing things between us just yet."

"I understand," Emily says wholeheartedly, "When we get back from New York, though, you two need to talk. Luke and I will lock y'all in a room if we have to."

I laugh, "Y'all couldn't lock us in a room."

"We'd sure as hell try, though," Emily grins.

"Knowing you two, you'd find some way to accidentally mess up, like you would accidentally lock yourselves in or something."

"Probably," Emily laughs, "But we would get an A+ for effort, for sure."

"You and Luke are such dorks, no wonder you spend all of your time together."

"We don't spend all of our time together," Emily blushes and picks up her water bottle to take a drink.

"Yes, y'all do," I smile, "Y'all are probably together, though, so it makes sense."

Emily spits out her water and coughs loudly. I widen my eyes and she stammers, "We're n-not together."

"Are you sure?" I tease.

"I'm sure I'd know if that happened," Emily chuckles.

"I'm surprised nothing's happened between you two yet," I look back at her. She blushes even more and keeps her gaze locked down onto the floor. I gasp, "Holy shit, something's happened between y'all."

"N-not really, we've just almost kissed a few times," She shrugs with a small smile.

"Holy shit, Em!" I drop my jaw, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well, all of this wedding and Ashton stuff has been going on and I mean we didn't actually kiss, so I didn't think it was a big deal," She shrugs.

"But you want to actually kiss him, right? Do you like him?" I ask.

"Of course I want to kiss him," Emily giggles, "and yeah, I think I do like him, I mean, he's....Luke."

"Do you remember when he first started tutoring you?" I can't help but laugh, "You said you stormed out of your tutoring session because he was, and I quote, 'just Luke'."

"It's kind of ironic, isn't it," Emily laughs.

"Yeah, it is," I nod, then glance over to Ash's desk. It was supposed to be the four of us all together forever. Now it's all just a mess.

"I can't wait for this wedding to be over," I groan.

Emily nods and gives me a small smile, "You're almost there, less than one week more. Don't worry, you've got this."

"Thank you," I smile. She grins as she stands up and gives me a hug. We stay like that for a few moments before I pull away to answer the ringing phone on my desk.

After I enter a new reservation in the computer, I hang up the phone and turn back to Emily.

"Is Chris excited for the wedding?" she asks.

"I think so," I reply, "I haven't really mentioned it much after I gave him all of the flight details and such."

"Oh, okay," Emily nods, "How are things with you two?"

"We're good," I smile, "He's really sweet and he's such a good listener. He's one of the nicest people I've ever known. We're a good match." Chris doesn't make me question anything and he can tell me things, unlike Ashton.

"I'm happy for y'all," She smiles.

I thank her and go back to my work. I don't know if Emily can tell- she probably can- but I'm frustrated. I'm pissed off at Ashton for confusing me, at Noelle for having this wedding, but mostly I'm pissed off at myself. No matter what I think about, my thoughts always seem to travel back to Ashton. I can't stop thinking about him and it's hurts me because I know I'm not the one that's making him happy. We used to be so happy together and now here we are, distant and avoiding each other. I miss him so much and I don't know how I've let this mess go as far as it has. How could I have stopped it, though? It just makes me mad that I can't stop thinking of Ashton.