Warrior Nun: The aftermath

Chapter 30

Annoyed, Beatrice hung on the bar and did her pull-ups. Unsure what to think and feel, she tried to clear her head with sports. Even though it wasn't pronounced, it was clear that she would spend the two months with Ava. Beatrice wouldn't have wished for it any more, but just now she wasn't sure about it anymore. It wasn't entirely up to Ava, even though she had portrayed it that way last night. Of course, Ava's reticence on some topics was decisive, but so was Beatrice's fear. For years she was condemned, despised and rejected for what she was and liked. Now, all of a sudden, living openly, without hiding, was a change. Beatrice had to relearn what it meant to be herself. Ava has always been more carefree and carefree, although it has become less due to her time on the other side, but has still remained a lot of the same. In a way, it was Bea too. Just as afraid of their feelings and their consequences. Be careful with the next steps and all actions in general. She hated so much how much she was still influenced by her past. The here and now counted. Instead, she kept finding new excuses and reasons to move away from Ava. Thoughts, feelings were in chaos. Only their movements were clean and orderly. Each move up to the pole cost her strength and made Beatrice sweat more. A steadily increasing burning and trembling in her upper body, that was what made it special. Exhaustion of the body and strengthening of the mind after a workout. Out of breath, she let go and landed back on the ground. She then seamlessly moved on to the next exercise: sit-ups. Not just ten or twenty. No, a hundred. Today she just had to exhaust herself. Completely focused on herself and busy with the exercises, Beatrice didn't even notice at first how Ava leaned against the door frame and watched her. Without paying attention to her, she continued.

"Are you going to start again like when I visited you in the monastery?" Ava asked, suddenly standing right next to her.

"Visited me at the monastery at that time? Are you sure? I thought you were watching me and hiding. Just like the weeks before and after."

"Bea. You're welcome. I don't want to argue with you anymore," Ava said softly and knelt down next to her on the floor.

"Neither do I, Ava. But what am I supposed to do?"

Ava sighed. "I'm already trying. I am aware that it is anything but easy. We both have to work on ourselves and still make the best of the situations."

"Work on us," Beatrice repeated softly. She knew Ava was right. Neither of them did everything right and was in a position to make accusations.

"Could you please stop doing this? You're driving me crazy with it."

Ava pointed to Beatrice's shirt, which was snuggled against her well-defined abs, soaked in sweat. Immediately she blushed and hoped Ava wouldn't notice it under any circumstances. She quickly looked for a topic to distract from herself.

"Do you already know who we are going to?"

„I've been racking my brains over that for the last two hours." Ava sighed and lay flat on the floor. "I've only thought about three people so far. Unfortunately, you won't like one of them at all."

When should Ava consider which one was so bad?

"Who?" she simply asked.

"First of all, I want to go to Sharon. You know, The woman I got the bike from. She is really dedicated and also a fighter when it comes to the people she loves. We could use someone like that."

That was one. Who were the others?

"And who else?"

It was obvious how Ava was pushing around. Who had she thought of that she didn't dare to tell her about it?

"My brother."

"Your...? I didn't know you had a brother."

"How could they?" Ava said, getting up from the ground again. "We are not biological siblings.

We were in the orphanage together for years, and I haven't seen him since."

Towards the end, her voice and Beatrice's heart almost broke. Without hesitation, she jumped up and took Ava in her arms. They both didn't care how sweaty Beatrice was and just hugged each other tighter. 

"I'm sorry about that, Ava. Honest. I had no idea." Bea whispered in her ear.

So nice to reconcile after their little argument yesterday, even if Beatrice knew that something would come again. Ava spoke of three people. Sharon and her brother, however, were only two. Beatrice didn't have to think too much to have a solid guess.

Who had she had much contact with in recent years and had not yet been dead or disappeared? And who didn't Beatrice like very much? JC. But as much as she wanted to discuss whether they really wanted JC or not. It was the wrong time. After all, she wanted to get closer to Ava and not push her any further away from her.

"No, Bea. I'm sorry."

Ava mumbled into her shoulder, but still audible enough for Beatrice to understand.

"What Ava? What are you sorry for?"

"I wanted to share so much with you and be honest. If I often can't be to others or myself, then at least to you."

Difficult. What should Beatrice answer to this? She could see how much Ava was trying and tearing herself apart at times. But Beatrice's efforts didn't exactly reach many. Something is not mentioned there, or this is concealed. All little things that hurt so much every time and made her feel like she wasn't trustworthy enough. At least for Ava.   

"I know."

Beatrice couldn't say more without bursting into tears herself. Instead, she stroked Ava's hair, pressing her head even closer to her. No matter what problems or differences they had, Beatrice would never want to give up on this.

"Do you know where he is? Your brother," Bea asked, slowly pulling away to look at Ava.

"No. But I'll find him. I also learned that he made it out of the orphanage and found a family."

"Then I'll help you with that."

Ava smiled gratefully at her. The moment Beatrice saw her eyes glittering with tears, her beautiful smile and simply flawless lips, everything that had happened didn't matter. She wanted Ava. Right now, here. 

Without thinking twice, she took Ava's head in both hands and brought him closer to her until their lips finally touched. At first a little timidly, then passionately. All tension fell from Beatrice and she just enjoyed this moment. Put aside quarrels and problems and take care of each other. Even if it couldn't be for long, every second was enough. Kissing until they had to catch their breath and both said at the same time:

"I love you."

30 chapters. I never thought I'd write so long and so much for it. But with you, it's so much fun and I can't wait to see how you like it. Since we are "already" expecting too many at chapter 30, please don't expect too many. I try to write a nice ending, which should not be rushed and yet not boring. Hope I succeed and you stay with us until then;)