Warrior Nun: The aftermath

Chapter 37

How had Beatrice endured that? To stand where Ava was now and watch the other on the bed. Not knowing if she would ever wake up. Also, How would Ava know? Reya had told her she would never be able to heal someone who hadn't worn the halo. Beatrice has never had direct contact with the halo. So how was it possible? She had been racking her brain over it for hours and tried to get in touch with Reya about it, but nothing. For whatever reason, Ava didn't get a response from the other side. Thoughts like putting on the crown of thorns again buzzed through her head from time to time. But it wasn't an option. What if something went wrong and she couldn't go back? Bea would be alone and certainly more than angry if she woke up then. The feeling of loneliness was also clearly present in her.
With a gentle kiss on Beatrice's forehead, Ava left the room, leaving the beeping sound out of the room. She ran straight into the sports hall and started to beat up the big punching bag.

"You know what? A week ago, Beatrice was in the same place in the same situation," said Lilith, who suddenly stepped into her field of vision.

Strained and sweaty, Ava lowered her bloody fists. Before she could put her hands on her hips, the wounds were gone.

"This is something else. I persuaded her to intervene and didn't pay attention, so she was injured and even killed because of my carelessness. It is a miracle that she lies alive in this room. I decided to take the crown and knew what was coming." Ava replied firmly.

"Beatrice knew exactly what she was doing and what she was getting into. She has never underestimated a risk before and has not underestimated it this time either. If Beatrice hadn't wanted to fight with you, she wouldn't have done it."

"Yes, she would. For me. We are exactly the same when it comes to protecting each other. But lately, it's like some asshole is turning our story into a disaster. Over and over again, we have to deal with shit! I'm getting tired of it, Lilith."

Lilith slowly walked a large circle around her, looking at Ava.

"The reasons for our destiny and fate are always unfathomable. But you are both so strong, Ava, and you must continue to be. Each for himself, for all and you for each other."

"How am I supposed to be strong when a different setback comes every day? I know my importance and how essential my role is, but I don't have the strength for it anymore. I don't want to see her die in my arms again." Ava began to cry.

Suddenly, Lilith stopped.

"I can't live without her anymore, or be separated from Bea. We've fought so hard and at some point we have to stop. Not just when one of us is dead."

Her arms hung limply down her waist. The eyes and cheeks are covered with tears. Ava was now at a point where she could no longer hold back how shitty she was.

"But it is soon over. Ava, you can't throw everything away. Not before this war is over. Without you or Beatrice, we have no chance and many others will suffer and die. You have to keep going!"

Lilith was now standing directly opposite her and shook her shoulders slightly.

"But I can't. I can't. This chosen thing is just too much. I never wanted it to take on such proportions. My friends and family will be hurt. I'm no longer willing to make them pay the price."

"War has always cost a lot. But if you don't pull yourself together and use your strength wisely, then we're lost."

"Are you serious? The love of my life died before my eyes! I won't let this happen again and I won't be able to bring them back! Lilith that's it!" Ava yelled.

"You're going to see them and everyone else die if you don't do something! We all love someone very much and want them to be safe, but if you throw them down, they won't exist anymore! Not for you, not for Beatrice, for no one! Don't you get it?!" now it was Lilith who screamed. And she was right.

Ava, meanwhile, collapsed and sat on the floor like a heap of misery, crying.

"Ava, you can allow yourself a moment of weakness. Everything may be too much for you. You are allowed to make mistakes. You can also cry. But only for a moment! Then you pull yourself together again and focus on what you have to do! Only you can end it all. Not me, not Mother Superior, and not God personally! You! But not alone. We are all here and will help and support you in any way we can. We all know what we're getting into, but we don't have a choice. What would otherwise await us would be far more cruel."

Ava took a deep breath and tried to collect herself. Every word Lilith had said was true. From the very beginning, it was clear to her what a burden it would be to wear the halo. One more war and she had her peace. She would do anything to enjoy it with Beatrice by her side.
A hand came into her field of vision and caught her attention.

Slowly, she followed the hand up and looked into Lilith's eyes. Resolutely, she took her hand and pulled herself to her feet.

"Are you ready to keep going?" Lilith asked.

"I am," Ava replied.

"With any other answer, you would have disappointed not only yourself, but also Beatrice. She would always want you to go ahead and protect others."

"Probably."

Lilith was right. If Beatrice were to find out that she was giving up and abandoning people just like that, she would certainly be more than just disappointed.

"So, then freshen up and get back to work. I'm sure you still have some people you want to recruit."

Wordlessly, she nodded to Lilith in agreement and gratitude. Then she turned her back on her and went to her room.

Giving up had never been an option. Ava would go on. For Beatrice.