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" Somewhere in the haze,
I got a sense I'd been betrayed "
―THE WEEK WEARS on, tiring us all. That day in Sturmhond's quarters was blissful ignorance as to the chaos going on around us, but now everything seems harsher and more defined, as if waking me from some dream made of pure sugar and candyfloss. With Alina's life on the line, Mal seems to me constantly at work. The Darkling, believing that we'll soon find Rusalya, has tasked me with using my abilities significantly more often on deck in preparations. I occasionally get a glimpse of the playful privateer, but I can't help but feel as though he's trying to avoid me and he has been since that day in his quarters. I would be lying if I said I didn't feel like we clicked and I genuinely believed we could be friends from then on, but clearly I was so incredibly wrong. It wounds me a lot more than I care to admit, because although I know it's unlikely, it feels as though Sturmhond is only avoiding me because I'm a Fabrikator, and maybe he's regretting having ever invited me to have a drink with him, despite the fact that I didn't actually have any kvas.
I'm grateful for the jobs on deck to use as a distraction from my disappointment, but Ivan clearly doesn't share the sentiment. He complains as we tie knots together, looking incredibly irritated at being tasked at such a job. It isn't that he's rotten at it, he simply isn't the best. I try to teach him how to get more efficient ones, guiding him through the process.
"I can't believe I've fallen this low," Ivan grumbles, an ironic choice of words seeing as we're sitting on the deck right now, beneath everyone else who is standing.
I can't help but laugh like a little girl at how furious he looks. "Doesn't this beat babysitting Alina while she slept?" I counter, trying to keep the mood up.
He rolls his eyes. "This is definitely worse."
I laugh again, dully amused. "You're just like a thundercloud."
"Tell that to Zoya," he retorts.
I grin profusely at the mention of her. Her and I aren't exactly friends. She enjoys picking on me, but when others do it, she silences them quite quickly. When I thank her, she insults me, but I can't help but feel as though it's a love-hate friendship with her. Her and I both understand the confusions of others due to us both being part Suli, and though on the surface she's colder than the waters of the Bone Road, she occasionally shows me a warmer, fiercely loyal side of her. That, and I enjoy looking up to her like an older sister to learn from.
My eyes latch onto Ivan's hands as he makes a mistake. "No! Loop the rope into the other gap," I tell him, eliciting a glare.
"Don't tell me how to do my job," he states, but his lips are tilting upwards playfully.
"You know that I'm right," I argue, crossing my arms. My eyes widen when I see him doing it incorrectly on purpose. "Ivan!" I snatch at the knot but his hands dance out of reach. "Seriously?"
