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" Stupid girl, I should have known, I should have known,
That I'm not a princess,
This ain't a fairytale,
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell "
―RAVKA'S SUMMER IS lovely with rich fields forever stilled in evergreen and gold, the scent of pine and the fresh breeze tickling my curls, warm hay and sap wafting through the air. It's almost exactly as I imagine the world inside of Nikolai's beautiful eyes, perfect, majestic, splendid. I can't find it in me to admire it as I should, Shu Han being just as warm for as long as I can remember, and I'm unhappy that I had to discard my silks for a plain satin dress of one layer in a creme shade. Nikolai insists that playing the role of the innocent Shu princess will help me in the long term, but I would have preferred a nicer dress. I've always been fond of beautiful things like gowns and jewelry, as gaudy and excessive as they tend to be in the court. I feel like with the right amount of finesse, the accessories and attire can make someone look regal, otherworldly.
To my dismay, I'm also forced to share a horse with Nikolai. He tells me it gives the impression of a prince and a princess, and although I'm not particularly happy about not having more room to myself, when we pass crowds of children and elders in villages, they greet me with enthusiasm.
I can't help but admire Nikolai and his kindness, even if it's partly mandatory. He hands out gold coins and sacks of sugar, accepts handshakes and kisses on the cheek from adorable old ladies who call him Sobachka and call me milaya.
He charms everyone within a two-meter radius with his dazzling smile and lovable energy. He always knows exactly who to be when speaking with citizens, whether it be the weary soldier, the laughing boy, or the golden, shining prince.
Alina keeps her end of the deal, always summoning the light and kissing babies brought to her, letting old men bow to her hand as they weep with happiness. I feel oddly out of place, but everyone treats me as though I'm their savior, they call me beautiful, ask me to bless their little girls with whatever ethereal essence I have.
It feels wrong compared to what I've been told by my mother my entire life.
Yizhi, if you don't take care of your hair, you will not be beautiful. If you keep talking so much, no one will want you as their queen. If your laugh is not graceful and your smile is not elegant, you are not fit for the courtrooms or their beautiful gowns, my mother's voice fills my mind.
"Yi?" I snap to attention and see Nikolai looking back at me, concern in his gaze. "You're about to slip off of the horse."
I scramble to get back into a comfortable position. The prince grins at me, his hazel eyes twinkling. "You can always hold onto me," he reassures with a wink.
