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" And all at once,
You are the one,
I have been waiting for,
King of my heart,
Body and soul "
―THE NEXT DAY, Nikolai and I meet up on the far end of the Spinning Wheel's terrace, a horrifying thing with a floor of glass to freely permit view of the clouds and mountains below, vertigo striking me every time I so much as glance downwards. We both lean against the railing, looking out at the Sikurzoi mountaintops and the sea of frosty mist that I feel as though I could dive into to forget my worries if impending doom wasn't beneath it all. Each time I exhale, I watch my breath appear in the cold air and fly into the sky like a free bird, knowing how much I wish I could soar up and let the world disappear with my worries.
Nikolai and I take turns throwing little rocks out at the clouds as we ask each other seldom insightful questions. It's almost normal, getting to know each other like this.
Because in these little moments, we can both pretend we're two regular romantics falling for each other on a regular day more than fifty feet in the sky. He's not a soon-to-be Lantsov king, he's just Nikolai now.
I toss a pebble up and down in my hand when it's my turn to ask a question. Without meeting his eyes, I ask, "What was it like?" I toss the little rock into oblivion. "What was it like growing up in the palace?"
Nikolai stays quiet for a moment.
"In complete honesty, it was lovely," he admits quietly. "I was a boy gorged on everything splendid one could have. I had tutors and nannies to fuss over me and grant me with attention. I was never left hungry or without a new gift to obsess over."
I tilt my head to look at him.
He keeps his hazel gaze on the tip of a mountain in the distance, the crescent of his cheekbone easily defined by this lighting. "But I was restless. I was lonely. It was never enough for me."
"Is that why you became Sturmhond?"
His lips tilt upwards slightly. "I became Sturmhond for many reasons. I suppose you could consider my never-ending need for more among the few."
"I find I much prefer Nikolai."
He gives me a lopsided grin. "Oh? But I was so sure the ladies adored a roguish privateer."
I raise my eyebrows. "Roguish?"
Nikolai shrugs. "Effortlessly charismatic and charming, to name a few more."
I roll my eyes. "Ah."
He turns his gaze outwards again with a gentle chuckle, then stills for a moment. "And how was it for you?" His tone is almost hesitant, but I suppose it's only fair to ask the same of me.
