Broken Memories [I Did it for You - Book 2]

20

It struck one in the morning when Emjay finally unlocked the door of the upstairs bathroom. Her legs had numbed from the number of hours she'd slumped in the corner, ignoring the voices of all the members that tried to help her and understand what she was going through. And although it pained her so much, she continued to blank them all, including the voice of her lover. Emjay placed her hands over her ears as she tried desperately to drown out the sorrow in Yoosung's voice as he begged her to come out, and the fact she knew that she was hurting him cut into her like a knife, but she couldn't answer him, no matter how painful it was. She hated leaving him in the dark like this, but saying goodbye would have been too painful.

Creaking the door open, Emjay peered out and pursed her lips together when she spotted Yoosung outside. He lay against the wall an inch away from the bathroom door, his lips parted slightly as he slept. 

The sight of Yoosung sleeping made her smile. She was thankful that she got to see his angelic, peaceful face one last time. She wanted to crouch next to him and kiss him gently on the cheek, but she couldn't risk waking him, not when her heart was set on leaving. She couldn't bear to see the horror and hurt crease the skin of his face as he begged her to stay with all the willpower he had. It would only break her heart, and his.

Leaving Yoosung against the wall, Emjay crept down the stairs, her eyes straining against the darkness that flooded the usually bright safe house. She snapped her head in different directions, making sure no one else was still up waiting for her as she carefully descended the stairs without tripping. Then quietly, she reached the front entrance, unlocking it as tenderly as she could before slipping outside.

Emjay shivered slightly as the cool summer breeze pricked at her skin and whipped through the strands of her brunette hair. She felt fear grind away at her bones as she stared across the forest, seeing the shadows loom towards her from the trees as though they were trying to reach for her. She laughed bitterly at herself, knowing that mere shadows were the last thing she had to be afraid of.

"Are you okay, Miss?"

Emjay slapped her hand over her mouth to muffle a scream as she jumped and spun around, only to sigh in relief when she saw one of Jumin's bodyguards standing near the entrance eyeing her warily.

"Oh, yes. I just wanted to go on a little stroll around the safe house. I'm hoping the walk will help me sleep" The lie slipped easily through her teeth, her fake smile plastered across her cheeks that pulled painfully against her skin.

The bodyguard nodded. "Would you like me to accompany you?"

"No, no, I'll be fine on my own" Emjay replied, trying her best to hide how much pain she was in.

"Well, as long as you're sure. Just remember not to wander too far. You can get easily lost around here if you're not careful"

Emjay turned away quickly, giving him her thanks without meeting his eyes so that he couldn't see the tears that threatened to flow from her own as she began to walk away.

Realising that driving her car to a location further out from the safe house was now out of the question as Jumin's bodyguard would only stop her for her own safety, Emjay reached the forest and began to wade through the trees, resisting the urge to turn around. She desperately wanted to. She wanted to turn on her heels, race back to the house and up the stairs to wake Yoosung with a thousand kisses and then cuddles in bed, but she couldn't. She wouldn't. How could she face him ever again when she was the reason why Yoosung went through so much pain and suffering? If it hadn't been for her walking in on the RFA by picking up a lost phone, trusting the person on the other end who led her to Rika's apartment and allowed Saeran full access to the bomb waiting to blow her to smithereens, Yoosung would never have been put in that impossible situation.