Chapter 9
"Leo, can you give us a minute?" hindi ko na hinintay ang isasagot niya at basta nalang siya iniwan at hinila si Johann palayo ng ilang hakbang.
"I told you a hundred times that YOU and I can't happen... I can't even imagine myself being with you, knowing you are my best friend's little brother. And even if you're not, I still can't see it. I never once had feelings for you. I'm not sorry for what I said, but I will not take back my words. You already know it, you don't have a chance. And disrespecting me in front of Lennon just made me doesn't like you more."
I know I crossed the line, but he did it first. He's right, he doesn't have the right to say that to us. But he still did it. How can I even face Lennon now? I will be crumpled with embarrassment.
"But you entertained me, didn't you? You don't have feelings for me, but why did you accept all of my gifts? Hmm?? You like the attention, you like the chase. But when you're in a dangerous situation, you're running away." he angrily smirked at me, he didn't take his eyes off me. I was speechless at what he said. I don't know if I'm gonna make myself believe that he's right... 'Coz he has a point, that I like the fact that someone likes me. And I'm afraid that I will do it to Lennon too.
This is the first time that I liked a man this much. I never take love this seriously. And I know this one is different from my other experiences. I have a life when I'm with Lennon. He brings joy to the darkness of my safe place. I want to protect him from this kind of behavior... My behavior to be exact.
"W-why are you doing this to me--"
"I realized that I have potential in life, and you are not the only dream that I have to achieve. I was just too blinded by one-sided love." that was the last thing that he said to me after staring at me for a long time. He left after that. I was alone with darkness and coldness in this park. Lennon is nowhere to be found. The strong wind just vibes with the mood. There were a lot of people earlier when I was with Lennon, but when he left... Everything just disappeared.
I found myself back in the booths and people chased me. I texted my friends asking where they were but they were not online. I guess they're still with their 'potential boyfriend' a.k.a. the band members of The Red. I don't know if I should text Lennon too after what happened earlier. I feel so alone right now without them.
I want to go home, back to my safe place. But it's not a comfortable place anymore, and I'm not sure if it's still safe there. The last time that I had this feeling, I wrote a poem. But I can't do it here, in the middle of intramurals. Everyone is smiling, while I'm frowning. I hid it when I saw my acquaintances. I just joined them and practically smiled. It's a good thing that I know a lot of people here. I won't be lonely.
I wish
lemonDC:
u still coming to my gig later? I will wait for you
I like that he didn't ask for my explanation for what happened earlier. But he needs it, he deserves it. Hindi ko na tinanong kung nasaan siya ngayon dahil alam ko naman na hindi ko siya kayang harapin. Just for now I guess, alam ko naman na mawawala din ang tension na nararamdaman ko ngayon.
roellaellera:
yes, I will come
The sun went down with a lot of sighs. Nagkita kita lang uli kami nina Jeisha at Lexi sa gig ng The Red. Nag sorry sila na hindi nila agad nakita ang message ko kanina at tinanong kung saan ako nag punta.
"Kasama ko sila Angel kanina." naka ngiti kong saad
"Anyare ba, bat di mo kasama si Lemon?" tanong ni Jeisha kaya kinwento ko na ang nangyari kanina. Hindi naman sila makapaniwala sa sinabi ko, naka awang lang ang bibig nila at natahimik.
