Infinite (Eminem Fanfic)

24. Fake Ass People & Bitter Ass Baby Mamas

Marshall's P.O.V.

1999

The album is supposed to drop in the next two weeks and even though I'm trying to remain calm and even Crack jokes about it in public, on the inside I'm all fucked in the head cause of the shit.

Yeah, my last two singles did real good on MTV and on the radio stations and shit, The Slim Shady LP might flop like a motherfucker just like Infinite had. Then I end up failing yet again and never amount to shit but being a goddamn one hit wonder. And Dr Dre ends up the laughing stock of the whole industry having believed in and signed to his label some whack ass white boy from Detroit. People been looking down at Dre since, and if I flop no only do I let myself down, I'd let him down as well, you know what I'm saying?

Not to mention, Hailie. The main reason I even want, no NEED, this shit to work is so that I could give her a better life. If I fuck up then I don't think I could ever look my daughter in her eyes and not feel like a total fuckup. Matter of fact, I could never look Jordyn in the eyes neither.

And everybody that's ever doubted me would be right.

But nah man, fuck that shit, it can't fucking happen to me again, I have worked my ass off recording this album.

Then again, I had worked my ass off recording Infinite also.

Fuck imma do if I flop?!

"Hey, you okay, boy? You look like you are getting ready to murder somebody," Jordyn giggles, bringing me out of my endless paranoid self-depricating fucked up ass thoughts as she sits next to me on the plane. Having a few of the #1 hits on the Bilboards chart hasn't had no effect on either of us still only being able to afford to fly economy, people here and there are gawking at us every once in a while, putting me slightly on edge. I still can't shake feeling like if motherfuckers stare at me it means they wanna fight me.

Dre told me once the album drops I should soon be getting paid royalties off of how well it sells. So I'll just have to wait and see that shit to believe it, see people actually buying the shit that is and giving it a listen, see that with my own two eyes to believe it. And I do need that shit too. Need the money badly cause one, I'm wanting to finally hire a decent lawyer to help me force Kim to share custody of my own kid with me. And two, cause I'm plain tired of never being able to afford shit. Plus, my mother has been bugging me nonstop about how supposedly she's about to lose her house cause I ain't been helping her with her monthly payments on it like I had previously promised I would.

Which she's either lying about that shit or she had managed to somehow screw something up with the payments herself, cause I know damn well that I've been sending her that money every months the whole time I've been here in California. Shit damn near killed me too, cause despite what my mother and so many other people currently think, fame doesn't automatically mean money. As of right now, even though I can't even take my bleached-blonde blonde ass to a goddamn Costco no more without being mobbed and recognized by damn near every person on there, that don't mean I can even afford to shop ag Costco in the first place, I am that broke. Few months ago it was Hailie's birthday and I couldn't even afford to put no gift under the Chrustmas tree which I felt like a total fuckup about, especially since it was one of those rare times Kim even allowed me to see my daughter and spend time with her with no hassle.

But I did keep up with my mother's mortgage payments, even if me and Debbie can't stand each other and she's hardly ever been a mom to me in the first place, obviously I was gonna take care of my own damn mother, c'mon now, I know I ain't fucked up like that, but she's pissed at me anyhow, claiming that I be hiding the money I make from rapping so that I don't got to give her a red cent. Last time we spoke on the phone, Debbie told me she's about to go to some big shot lawyer to try and straighten out my "messup" and save herself from losing the house.