Infinite (Eminem Fanfic)

39. When You Can't Even Recognize Him Anymore

Jordyn's P.O.V.

Marshall and I both sit in the waiting room at the hospital Kim has been rushed into to, while Paul is pacing somewhere in the distance with Marshall's security.

Finally, the doctor comes out and speaks to Marshall.

Everything seems to be moving in slow motion and the whole situation feels surreal.

I hope that Kim is alright, I really do. Obviously, her and I never got along and she's never been my favorite person in the world, but I would never wish death upon her.

Marshall then eventually walks away with the doctor, presumably to go visit with Kim in her hospital room and I'm just sitting there, feeling like this strange combination of guilt and being numb.

"Hey Jo, you straight?" Proof is asking me, sitting down next to me. I note that bizarrely enough, he is calling me right now by that same pet name Marshall calls me sometimes. I guess it's finally sticking.

"I'm good. I mean... I'm not the one that slit my wrists. God, I feel so horrible about that," I confess, hanging my head low. "I really hope she's okay."

"She's good, Jo. I overheard Em talking to the doc there," Proof replies. He pulls off the Kangool hat he's wearing from his head and turns it in his hands a few times. "And what you feeling horrible for anyway, girl? You ain't done shit," he then reassures me with a small sympathetic smile.

Yeah, except for being right about to have sex with her husband right before Marshall and I found out what Kim did, I think to myself absent-mindedly. I now wonder if she was opening her wrists at the exact same moment when we were just about to...

Probably not, but it still feel that way to me and it's killing me now, the guilt of it all.

Proof and I talk for a while.

Until Marshall returns.

I look at his face intently, trying to gage anything at all from his reaction, but there's literally nothing. His face is perfectly composed as he slaps hands with Proof saying something quietly to him, then talking to Paul.

He barely looks at me though.

"Aight, y'all ready to split?" He then asks, addressing all of us at once and there's a small murmur of voices, expressing confirmation.

And I still don't know what to even say. I sit there feeling like I shouldn't even be here. Like I don't belong here. Like I'm intruding on his and Kim's family matter.

And it's the first time Marshall's eyes land on me.

"Yo, you coming, Jo?" He asks me impatiently. "You rolling with me or you want Naz to drop you off home?" He asks, referring to my house here in Detroit.

I look over at Big Naz, standing there towering over Marshall like this huge mountain as usual. This man intimidates me. But I understand that he's just doing his job.

I start to open my mouth to say I will go with Naz.

Simple because I don't think it's even appropriate for me to be anywhere near Marshall right now. Just because of my girl solidarity with Kim. I mean, if my husband, ex or not was riding in acar with another girl on the same day I had tried to kill myself, then I would be a little upset, so of course...

"Aight cool, you riding with me then," Marshall then states, all of a sudden making the decision for me.

And I'm not comfortable with it at all.

I open my mouth again, but nothing comes out.

Because he's already grabbing my hand and leading me towards the back exist from the hospital.