Thoughts On Things

Entry 11

A thought occurred to me shortly after the last entry, but felt it deserved its own entry despite the shortness between the two. 

Before going in, I'd like to give my idea, or definition I'll be using. I'll be considering utopia perfection, or near perfection, where everyone involved in it is content and happy and lacking complaint; not out of inability to complain, but out of lack of need or want. 

The general idea is that utopia is not a place, but a state of mind. I doubt that there will ever be anything so perfect that people agree it is perfect. In fact, I'd say there will be arguments about pretty much anything as long as there are 2 people, maybe even one. As long as subjectivity exists, and it always will, arguments will exist, I propose. I put this down to human nature; but remember, my views and thoughts are lacking in education greatly and must be thoroughly fact checked, as must all views and thoughts, mine especially so. 

So utopia must come from within. You must learn to accept and be happy with any situation and feel no need to complain. You cannot stop yourself from complaining by simply resisting the urge to do so; that is self-deceit and will only lead to discontent. You must simply feel no need to complain and therefore have no issue not complaining and no desire to complain or reason to complain. 

Of course, problems arise with this. I think the state of utopia would be one of ignorance, or forced ignorance I suppose in a way. For no matter how bad a situation is, you would not complain. Does this mean you know naught of right or wrong? Or, does it mean your concept of right and wrong permits everything to fall into the category of right. So, utopia would be perceiving all as right and just. It would be not caring about the situation. So is apathy equal to perfection, to happiness?

I don't remember who said it, but one of my favorite quotes is something along the lines of; "A happy story is one that knows when to end." It implies that after enough time, every story becomes a sort of tragedy, or at the very least a bittersweet ending. After all, death is inevitable. But even before that, life is plagued with many tragedies. I think a lot of people under exaggerate death, or attempt to distill any fear and sadness surrounding it. But I think if there's one thing to be sad over, to fear, why not have it be death? Lack fear of death and you may as well lack all fear. It's the big one, the big event, the culmination of everything. Accept it and weep when it comes, and no sooner. 

This entry so far has been nothing but nonsense, by my standards. Every idea established is then basically forgotten words later. I blame tiredness and laziness. I'll resume it tomorrow and hopefully create something good. 

But before I do sleep, I'd like to talk about school for a moment. I often see the trope of hierarchies or niches being formed in schools in many types of media, but fail to see any real life examples of this. I'd like to hear the experiences of others, to see if they do exist, or if they're simply not prevalent in my schools. Of course, it's entirely possible I failed to notice the presence of any hierarchy. I suppose if there were one in my school, I can't be too low nor too high if I were able to avoid it completely. There were also no obvious incidents of bullying in my school. I'm aware this may be privileged compared to some and by no means wish to come off as pretentious or arrogant. In the way that rich people want to experience life as a poor person, I would like to experience some of this bullying. Of course, this is only because I have safety nets. It would be in no way comparable to the actual act, and yet I seek it. For me, at least, the reason is just to gain knowledge. Often times people speak about lack of understanding caused by lack of experience and I'm inclined to agree. Yet, I've never had the chance to gain that experience, so envy those who have despite logic telling me they should be pitied, or I suppose, sympathized with and their situations avoided.

On a side note before I end this, I'd like to love and scream and cry and smile and run and hide and shout aloud and hate and forgive and do all the great things there are in life. As Osamu Dazai wrote in his novel the setting sun; "This I want to believe implicitly: Man was born for love and revolution."

Good night.