The Days Before 16

Chapter 13 Continued Part 2

Wednesday 17 June, 2015

"Is that how you feel toward me?"
"Yes. I do. I have no idea who you are but you're always there, at the back of my mind. And you know what? So is Daniel. Ever since last Friday you both have been there. And I know what my heart feels toward you both. I can't put it into words, that feeling. I was going to ask you about Sonny before but I didn't, you know why? Because if I told you and you did it for me, my biggest fear was- is- that you'd start falling for her. Again, the feeling you get is as if your about to be sick. You have no idea what that feels like. I hate it and what makes it so much worse is that my mind can't remember but it's as if my heart does and again, I can't put it into words how I feel about you." I said, my hands clenched into fists and I had clenched my jaw. I was shaking my right wrist to stop angry tears from spilling. He was in front of me in a flash. He grabbed my hands and bought them up in between us.
"Willow Moore, I love you. And I promise to never stop loving you for the rest of my life. I'll always be there for you. I promise. I love you for you, the you that's right here right now and the you that knows who I am. I'll accept your favour on one condition." He whispered.
"What condition? If you say it, I can't. I can't do that. It'd hurt too much when you ask her tomorrow. I'm sorry. I can't. I can't let my selfishness hurt me that much." I whispered back.
"Who said anything about permission?"
"Please. Don't."
"I have to."
"No, you don't. Just save it for Sonny tomorrow." I said and felt as if I was about to be sick. I felt my face crumple at what I'd just said. I'd just told him to kiss Sonny tomorrow. Oh God then she'll tell me all about it. I pulled my hands free and opened the door. I didn't hesitate when stepping out. I just walked out of his room leaving a piece of my heart with him. I hope he takes care of it for me. I walked to the spare room but before I opened the door I couldn't help but look back at him. He was standing there in the middle of his room, still shirtless. His arms were slack at his sides, his shoulders were slumped and his head hung low. He looked up and I saw tears streaming down his face before he reached out and pushed the door closed. I walked into my own room. Tears flowed freely down my face and I didn't try to stop them or wipe them away. I looked down. Stupid penguin PJs. I should never have changed PJs earlier. Look at what had happened in less than three hours of having them on! It felt as if I'd just broken up with him even though we weren't dating. My chest felt so heavy and I couldn't breathe. I'd never felt this way before. I'd never broken or been broken up with and oh my God, people actually get through this sort of pain? People carry on with their lives and survive? I always thought it wouldn't be that bad- that it couldn't be that bad. But I was wrong. I was so wrong. I wonder what he felt. Was he feeling the same way as me? It would probably be ten times worse for him, him knowing the other me and loving me and knowing that the other me as well as the me now loved him. I basically admitted it when I said that I wouldn't be able to handle him kissing me now then me having to see him play boyfriend with Sonny tomorrow. I leaned over and grabbed my black bag. I opened it up not looking through the cloths but looking for my toothbrush. Once I had it I thought, could I really go out there to the bathroom? What if he came out of his room when I was out in the hallway? I'd breakdown for sure. Why did I love him so much? I just thought the L word toward him. I hope he wasn't reading my mind. He's going through enough pain right now. I held my blue toothbrush in my right hand and opened the door with my left. I didn't look anywhere else except straight ahead as I was going to the bathroom. I shut the door behind me. I went to the sink and of course above it there was a mirror. I got a glimpse of my reflection. I was a mess. Puffy red eyes. Tear tracks still glistening in the light because of the water from my tears. I braced myself on the sink and took a few deep breathes. Ok. I slid the mirror across revealing the shelves behind it. There was a tube of toothpaste. Do I use it? How old was it? He could've drugged it. Do I take that chance? I ran my tongue across my top teeth. Gross. I had to clean my teeth though. I'm glad we didn't kiss, I thought, I would've been so embarrassed. 'Trust them', I heard. I blinked and looked up into the mirror. Behind me was Elizabeth in her yellow dress.
"Hey. I do it's just that, you know?" I said. She smiled, sad, and nodded. 'I know what you mean', I heard again even though her lips didn't move. How was I hearing her if she wasn't talking? 'I'm thinking it', she thought. I could hear her thoughts and she could hear mine. 'Oh', I thought back. She started fading away again. 'Wait, don't go', I thought. 'Trust them', was all I heard before she faded away completely. I sighed. I turned back to the sink, grabbed the toothpaste and put some on my toothbrush. Halfway through brushing I thought of my... other teeth. They had to be brushed too. Oh my God I can't believe I'm doing this, I thought as I relaxed and thought of vampire teeth. I felt them slip out of my mouth. My face didn't twist so I must be the Vampire Diaries vampire. I continued to brush and I made sure to get my... fangs. I spat into the sink. I was two different types of vampire meaning the teeth weren't the same. I thought of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer vampire face and instantly felt my face twist. I cleaned them too and spat into the sink. I smiled at myself in the mirror in disbelief. What is happening? I washed my mouth and rinsed my toothbrush. I wanted to look normal and felt my face untwist and go back to being my human face. I touched it with my hand and moved it from left to right. I definitely liked this look better. I put the purple cap back onto my toothbrush. It was very handy. I left the bathroom and went back to the spare room. My black travel bag was on the ground at the end of the bed. What? I looked around the room to see if anything else had changed. The decretive pillows had been put on the floor and the left top corner had been pulled back so I could slip into bed. The glass that had been everywhere was gone and I'm sure there wouldn't be a piece that was left behind accidently. My shoes had also been moved to the end of my bed and set next to my bag. My shoulders slumped. Trevor had done this. For me. After everything. It just made me feel worse about doing what I did. But it had to be done, right? I knelt down and unzipped my bag. I put my toothbrush back in and zipped it closed. I couldn't be bothered brushing my hair. I turned the light off and made my way back to the bed.