How my life changed

Chapter 25

Hiccup's P.o.v.

After North had brought me home, it was nearly six. I didn't feel like eating something so I walked back upstairs and into my room. It frustrated me that we couldn't find out anything again. Will we ever find Jack? I sat down at my table and took a paper and a pencil and started to draw something. At first, I didn't really know what I should draw but after some time I started to draw Jack. It now was so long ago that I had seen him and slowly the memories with him started to disappear... I started to forget what he looked like.. I only remembered the beautiful ice-blue eyes and the snow-white hair. I sighed and let my head fall on the table. My mind was blank and I no didn't know what I should do anymore. Jack couldn't just disappear like that, we have to find him somewhere...

I sighed and decided to take a shower. When I came out of the shower, Tooth was back but I told her that I wouldn't feel well and that I would go to bed earler. Then I just walked into my room without any other word. She had not said anything to me and just let me go which I was thankful for. I sat down on my bed and was about to lie down when I heard a scratching at my door. I got up and opened the door and the small Toothless ran into the room. His tail was standing upwards, showing me that he was happy to be with me. I smiled and closed the door and watched Toothless how he jumped on my bed and looked at me expectantly. I smiled and walked over to him and laid down in my bed. Toothless came to me and cuddled into my side. After I had pulled the blanket up, I moved closer to Toothless and cuddled with him. Since all of the time that had passed now, I had never felt this lonely. I wanted to feel Jacks arm around me, wanted to feel his warmth. Slowly, my eyes filled with tears and I pulled Toothless even closer. Jack... Where are you? I sobbed and pulled Toothless more to me. He looked at me now almost in a concerned way. I stayed like that a bit. Only sobbing and the tears running down my cheeks. Eventually, I sighed and let go of Toothless and sat up. I rubbed the tears from my eyes but there were always new ones. Why can't just someone finally save Jack? Why did I have to get to know Jack and bring him in a situation like this? This is alone my fault! I sniffed and looked over to the small bathroom that was connected at my room. I can't take it anymore... Jack... please, I need you... More and more tears ran down my cheek while I made my way to the bathroom. He would not show up again, would he...? Maybe he's already in freedom and just doesn't want to be with me anymore? But I really thought that this between us was something special... What am I supposed to do?! Without noticing it I was now already in the bathroom, holding my razor in my hand. I had never used it because I don't really grow a beard but Tooth said it would be better if I have one because I could suddenly grow stubble.

Should I really do this? I slowly undid the blade from the razor. But I had promised Jack that I would never do that to me again... I held the blade to my wrist. Jack, I'm sorry...

I put the razor to cut but suddenly there was a knock at the door and I dropped the blade. It dropped into the sink and then in the drain. My eyes widened when I finally realized what I almost had done. I quickly picked up the razor and put it back in the closet while it knocked again.

"Wait a minute!", I said tried to wipe the tears from my face. Even though it was pretty obvious that I had been crying since my eyes and nose were still red. I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed. Then I quickly ran back to my room and sat down on the bed next to Toothless.

"You can come in now!", I finally called.

Slowly the door opened and Toothianna came in. She closed the door behind her and smiled softly at me.

"Are you alright Hiccup? I heard you sob.", she said and looked at me worried but in her eyes was something else that I couldn't quite recognize.

I nodded slightly. "I'm okay. I just broke down a bit... I miss Jack so much..." I sighed and looked at the floor and rubbed my eyes.

"Oh Hiccup... You really love him very much, don't you?"

"Yeah I do... He's everything to me..."

"Come here.", she said and held her arms open for me. I smiled slightly and got up and walked to her and hugged her. She hugged me back a little but then she started to squeeze me way too tight. I gasped and pushed her away from me. Finally, she let go and looked at me with empty eyes.

"W-What's wrong Tooth? Have I done something wrong?", I asked confused and looked up at her. She shook her head and put her hand on my cheek and caressed it gently.

"You know Hiccup..." Slowly, she let her wander from my cheek to my collarbone. "I have given you so many chances to forget this guy..." She let her hand wander to my throat. "And yet you don't give up!" She started to lift me up by my throat. I thought about freeing myself but I was too shocked to be able to move at all.

"You know, when I saw you the first time in the bar together with Pitch... I wanted you. Wanted you for me alone. So I paid Pitch a whole bunch of money so that he would make it look as if he would have almost killed you for any reason. Of course Jack came as a good reason even though I didn't planned with him first." Tooth grinned and squeezed my neck tighter so I started to gasp for air. "After that, I hired people to capture Jack and lock him away. So Pitch would be the evil one and I would be the hero in this." She threw me on the floor and I groaned loudly in pain when my arm, which still wasn't fully healed, hit the ground. She laughed a little.

"Oh Hiccup, why couldn't you just be a nice boy?"

Toothless walked around my legs and stared at Toothianna angrily.

"Oh fuck of you little shit.", Tooth growled and kicked Toothless aside.

"T-Toothless...", I whispered and tried to pull him to me. He just laid motionless on the floor.

"I've always found that name ridiculous for a cat. I got that dirty thing only to get more sympathy from you since Pitch said you liked animals." Toothianna laughed and stepped with her foot on my hand. My hand was still covered with bruises and now that Toothianna stepped on it, I could feel every little bit and the pain pulsed through my hand. I whined and tried to get my hand free.

"No, no, no, my dear Hiccup. Listen to me now and do it good." She knelt down in front of me and grabbed me roughly by my chin and made me look at her while new tears gathered in my eyes.

"Now that you're mine, forget Jack. I caught him and I will take care that he won't be able to come out of that hole anymore. Never again I will let you out of my eyes my little sweetheart." She let go of my chin and left the room. She closed the door behind her and laughed.

"Oh, and so you don't get any ideas~", she said and laughed while she locked the door.