A Writer's Notebook / Collection of Short Stories

You know what hurts? [🇺🇸]

DATE: 09/10/2021

You know what hurts? When you send them a cool idea for a plan and they tell you "we should do that! and soon 'cause I don't think I'll do it much longer".
You know what hurts? When you message them a "good night" and know they'll be crying but you can't be there to hug them and you need to rest.
You know what hurts? When someone gives you an advice to be healthier and you don't share it with them because you know they don't care about themselves.
You know what hurts? When they start criticizing everything about themselves what you love about them.
You know what hurts? When you see how they get some sweet for free and they give it to someone else because they won't eat.
You know what hurts? When everyone open their lunch boxes but they almost have no food because they prefer to starve.
You know what hurts? When someone way skinnier than you tries to convince you that you're the skinny one because they see theirselves thick but you actually know for sure you're thicker.
You know what hurts? When you see their scars and picture them with the blade in their hands.
You know what hurts? When you feel guilty because you don't have such big problems.
You know what hurts? When you talk with someone about your achievements and they start complaining because they're jealous.
You know what hurts? When all your friends use you as a shoulder to cry on and leave you without energy to take care of that person.
You know what hurts? When they talk, talk, and talk during hours about their problems and in the end don't even ask about you.
You know what hurts? When you try to tell them you're not okay and they start telling about their own problems.
You know what hurts? When they are talking to you about a feeling or problem that makes them suffer and you tell them that you are in the same situation but they totally ignore that and keep telling you. (shouldn't they listen to you because they understand you better due to the fact they know how much they suffer because of it? appearently they think it only is a problem to them and others don't suffer because of it)
You know what hurts? When the only time they say you that you can tell them anything is when you told them first.
You know what hurts? When they make you feel special but you later find out they said the same to others too.
You know what hurts? When they start seeing your effort as something obvious and look disappointed when you don't do perfect.
You know what hurts? When they make jokes about you and you are too tired to say something else than "i don't mind".
You know what hurts? When you feel like your problems aren't justified or worth to be.
You know what hurts? When they say they trust you with some duty but then constantly keep an eye on you or tell you how to do it "better".
You know what hurts? When they want to tell you about some bad experience they had so you can learn from it but you already feel full of shit.
You know what hurts? When they criticize you so you change but they do it again with your new version.
You know what hurts? When they constantly judge you and tell you everything you do wrong.
You know what hurts? When you try your best struggling with some problem and they tell you how to do better as if it was easy and they knew better.
You know what hurts? When you feel so freaking broken but have to be strong and keep going so you ignore your own pain and wish it passes alone.
You know what hurts? When you cry alone because you don't want to open up to the person you trust most because you know you'll break them even more by doing so.
You know what hurts? When you feel alone because you aren't able to share your problems because you don't want to worry or hurt anybody, not even those who hurt you.
You know what hurts? When you need to cry but have no place to do so because everywhere is someone and you know they'll tell you not to cry for your own good.
You know what hurts? When they tell you you look good today and you know you just cried and covered it so they don't notice.
You know what hurts? When you have big dreams and they laugh or criticize them bringing you down.
You know what hurts? When you feel like your life will end soon because you simply don't picture yourself in a few years.
You know what hurts? When you have a diary to let shit out without hurting someone and they laugh about it.
You know what hurts? When they get angry because you dropped something and you don't want to tell them it was because your hands were shaking due to anxiety.
You know what hurts? When they say you and your life are perfect and you want to shout in their faces how horrible it can be and how insufficient you feel.
You know what hurts? When the only way you find to let it all out is writing a text about your pain which you know nobody will ever read or know about.
You know what hurts? When you realise that one of the longest texts you wrote is the one about your pain.
Yea, it really hurts pretty bad sometimes.