"D-Do not resuscitate, Mauve."
Humagulgol si Erich sa labas ng dulong kuwarto. It happened that I ran an order nearby. I saw her, breaking down.
Her body lost its balance. Her back leaned on the wall for support before she fell on the floor. On her knees, she buried her face. The limited space toned her sobs down, but no resistance could make her shoulders stop from moving up and down.
I cleared the lump in my throat. This is my first time seeing her cry this hard. "Erich . . ." I never knew how to comfort people, so I stood for so long without doing anything. I looked dumb, watching a colleague cry in front of me.
"Ayaw ko na yata, Mauve," she said. "Hindi ko na yata kaya." Her palms covered her face.
Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga at umupo sa tabi niya. I began tapping her shoulder.
"This is not the first death I encountered. But why am I not getting stronger? Sabi ko noon, hindi na ulit ako iiyak. Tangina, hindi ko naman sila kilala, eh. Hindi ko naman sila kaano-ano. Bakit ako iiyak sa kamatayan ng taong ilang oras sa isang araw ko lang naman nakikita't nakakausap?"
"Parang tanga lang kasi. Alam ko naman na lahat tayo ay may karapatan magdesisyon para sa sarili natin. But why do I have to learn resuscitation if I can't do it? Kaya ko naman, eh. Kahit ilan, kahit gaano katagal. Mauve, how do I stop wanting to relive people who have given up themselves? How do I give up on them?"
My breathing became heavier than hers. I can feel her pain. Sometimes, I can't help but get mad too—at the reality that you can do something for the last time but you're no longer allowed to.
"I don't think . . . I don't think I can stay behind the line if it's someone I love that is involved." She shook her head. "I don't think I can watch the monitor just go straight and do nothing. Even if it's a DNR, Mauve."
"I know, Erich." I caressed her back.
"Can you, Mauve?" Unexpected to me, she asked. "Can you stay still and watch someone you love die?"
Nanikip ang dibdib ko sa tanong niya. Walang salitang lumabas sa bibig ko. Ngunit kahit sino ay iisa lang ang isasagot do'n.
"I . . . I don't—"
"Miss Nurse."
Nilisan ng mga mata ko si Erich nang marinig ang boses ni Yuri. From a distance, I saw him holding a clothe bag.
Time of death, 22:33.
Time of death, 22:33.
Time of death, 22:33.
"E-Erich, give me a minute."
I left the sobbing Erich to near Yuri. Ilang segundo ko lang nakita ang lalaki ay kung anong hindi maipaliwanag na naman ang nararamdaman ko. I dragged Yuri to one corner. "Why are you here?"
His smile fainted. "I came to bring your lunch. I cooked for you."
I looked down at the bag and took it. "Thank you . . . b-but didn't I tell you not to bother?"
"You kept eating processed foods that you were asking me to limit taking. You also said the food in your cafeteria is all boring so . . . I prepared you a lot." He chewed on his lower lip. "You don't like it?"
"Of course not, Yuri. You see, I appreciate this but you don't have to bother, okay?" I held his cheek.
"Doing things for you isn't bothersome."
I breathed a deep one. "Yes. I know. Let's . . . Let's just talk about it later, not here."
He nodded. "Is there something wrong? Why is your colleague crying?"
BINABASA MO ANG
The Heaven's Wildcard
Romance[SLOW EDIT] For most people, hell is just a concept or a place where the evils fall into after death. But for the registered nurse, Maurice Severina de Morga, it is her reality, her life. Her first cry was on her mother's death, died on a hospital b...
