The Heaven's Wildcard

Chapter 51

Yuri is carefully treating my burns as if he has no smaller ones on his forearm. My eyes are acting like staring at him is the only thing they can do.

He looks fresh in his white tee, hair is still wet as he just arrived. This Japanese boy never failed to put me in awe every time I probed his features. Even though he acted differently from how he looked for the past few weeks, he's still an angel to me. He will always be.

He's sitting in front of me, eyes are focused on my forearm. With his clean fingers, he gently spreads the bland ointment on my burnt skin. It reminds me of the days I used to be his student nurse.

Back then, he would get into fights so we could see each other or at least that's how it seemed. I used to be the one who takes care of his wounds, now, he's healing mine.

I felt the warmth of his breath when he gave it a gentle blow. I moved a little in response.

"Did it hurt?" he asked worriedly.

"You shouldn't blow on the wound, germs can grow." Honestly, the four years of learning nursing and the experience I gained in the hospital were never put to waste. Nagagamit ko pa rin ang mga natutunan ko hanggang ngayon.

"I'm sorry. I-I thought of alleviating the pain."

He alleviates the pain I feel just by being here. He doesn't have to do much.

He proceeded to the other wounds, did the same thing, and held himself back from blowing them. When he was done, I counted how many patches I got. Twelve? Not too few.

"You should avoid touching it to avoid contamination."

I snickered at the fact that he told me that, he noticed it.

Maagang umalis si Tiya Maritta. Binitbit niya si Hiko na noong una ay ayaw pang sumama. He didn't want to leave me alone but that's the plan. I needed to be alone with Yuri so we can talk about everything. After the incident, this is the first chance we got.

The world knew I would not be ready anytime soon. It knows I would make excuses as much. I can't run away forever. I can't lie forever. I can't be a coward forever and keep on hurting people.

After that short conversation, silence took over. Yuri is doing anything that will keep him from talking, like organizing the ointments in the small rack as if it's the most time-consuming task. Me on the other side, is just drumming fingers on the table.

"W-Won't you ask something?" I made the first move.

He has been waiting for me to speak first—at least that's how it looked like. Mabilis niyang iginilid ang mga gamit at umayos ng upo.

He sighed. "I don't know where to start."

Huminga ako nang malalim. Naiintindihan ko siya. I lied many times. It must be hard for him to tell what is to believe after my revelation. So I sat properly and I did the work as I should. I went back to where it started.

Of course, in college.

"You are my first love, Yuri."

I took his eyes back with one sentence.

"I never had anyone in my life before you. I had never walked the sidewalk with someone's presence. I had never eaten an ice cream with another living thing. I'd never been loved. I'd never been seen. Almost all my firsts were with you . . ."

"I didn't know it would feel heaven to share a memory with someone, because I've always been alone and I thought there would be fewer hurdles thinking of only myself. I don't want to drag  anyone with me. So afraid, I fought with my growing feelings. The kiss was half meant. I loved you back then, but I didn't want to accept it. I didn't have enough courage to embrace that I was in love . . . Because I never knew how to love." So I left him, along with my feelings.