Unfolding Letters | Jikook

12.

*warning*
*Self harm*

Jimin stood in front of his house frustrated and angery. Of course Jungkook followed him here and wants to come in but Jimin doesn't wants to be in his house. He doesn't want to embarrass himself by showing how in mess his house is and compared to Jungkook's his house is practically shit but Jungkook being Jungkook he won't take no for an answer.

"Have you had dinner?!" Jungkook asks

"Yes" Jimin lied hoping maybe Jungkook will leave him alone he doesn't know why was Jungkook being so stubborn he is never curious about Jimin, his personal life so why, why is he being a pain in the ass all of a sudden.

"You are lying I already heard your stomach growling"

Jimin sighs Jungkook was right he is hungry but that doesn't mean he will willingly invite Jungkook in he is not comfortable with Jungkook inside his house why can't he just understand that. "I even have a bruise on my face due to the match at least you could do is treat it for me" Jungkook pout showing the red cuts on his face.

Jimin didn't noticed the bruises until now he could see the visible cuts on Jungkook's under eye and on the bottom lip. Jungkook is being a baby now Jimin very well knows those cuts are nothing for Jungkook it's just an another excuse.

"It's unfair that you get to see my house and I don't get to see yours. Come on Hyung stop being so stubborn" Jungkook whines making Jimin more annoyed than he already is.

Sure Jimin is being a dick here he is lonely and he would appreciate a company but that the point he doesn't want Jungkook to be his company he is already in the deep shit and being with Jungkook will only fuck everything up.

It suddenly clicks in Jimin's mind that maybe Jungkook wants something, something that only Jimin can give. There is no other reason why Jungkook wants to be with Jimin at this time. Jungkook was in a match and before that he had work and school he sure had a long day he definitely wants to fuck.

"Do you want to fuck?!" Jimin asks out if no where. Jungkook froze he didn't know what to say his mind went blank it was not his intention to fuck he was just getting bored and didn't wanted to go home because he didn't wanted to face his mom but the question Jimin asked made him feel a bit disappointed.

Is that what he thinks?

Can't I just be around him without a fuck?!

Why is he so annoyed being around me?!

"What do you mean?" Jungkook raises and eyebrow he thought they were friends they can hangout even though they are not fucking but he got it all wrong maybe Jimin only wants to be around him if they are fucking.

Jimin release a deep breath followed by the words he never wanted to say but eventually spills it out "If you want to fuck let's get over with it I am tired and hungry you don't have to pretend like you care"

Jungkook had heard those words before Jimin always tells him not to care and everything it didn't hurt him that much like it did now it was as if Jimin was spilling venom from his mouth.

He is right..

Jungkook shouldn't care he didn't care before today they are just sex partners their cute little moment in the restroom doesn't mean they are friends. Jimin is right Jungkook shouldn't care. Jimin never felt more than a sex partner to him then why should he.

"Fine! I'll text you whenever I wanna fuck and that's not now" Jungkook stormed out of the place leaving Jimin alone and numb. Jimin felt like crying but couldn't shed there like there was no tears left in him he wanted to cry let everything out but couldn't.

With a heavy frown he got inside his house his eyes couldn't ignore the mess the house was in he walked to the kitchen placing his bag on the couch gently and opened the fridge hoping to find something to eat.

His hopes crashed down seeing the empty fridge he sighs running his hands through his soft black messy hair. He opens the kitchen cabinets hoping to find something not wanting to sleep with the empty growling stomach.

Gusse it's a bad day..

Nothing. No food. He kicks the cabinet hard letting out the frustration and anger but it wasn't enough he kicked the cabinet multiple times ignoring the pain in his feet he took a glass and throw it at the wall near by making it shatter onto pieces.

"FUCK FUCK FUCK" He let's himself fall on his knees. Everything is been so fucked up first he had to live his life pretending his mom didn't existed being only one earning carrying the burden of the whole house and his mother when he is just a highschooler.

Second, he gets bullied in school for dating a popular girl. People always told him she was too good for him and she is with him just because she feels pity for him. The moking didn't stopped even after he broke up with Yejin.

Third, his mom abandoned him even if he had to pretend his mom didn't existed but she was there. Atleast there was someone waiting for him after he was back from work there was someone watching him there was some waiting for him back at home and then suddenly when she is gone for real it broke him. How can he live when he is not wanted by his own mother?

Fourth, he is not comfortable with his friends the only friends he has and it kills him to be this way and finally the last which is the worst Jungkook and him are in not good terms.

Jimin got on his feet he probably has to go out again just to buy something he unzipped his bag pulling out the his wallet he sighs in relief when he saw he has money but he was tried to go out and buy something.

His eyes falls on the packet of cigarette inside his bag packed he isn't a smoker so how a whole damn packet get inside his bag. Without thinking anything he pulled out the one of the sticks and held it between his lips and went to the kitchen again switching on the gas stove.

He lighted his smoking stick with that and inhaled the toxic air "Woah that fells good" He takes another long puff and looked at the disappearing cloud of smoke exhaled. He eyes fall in the burning tip of the stick and suddenly he thought how would it feel when that burning stick touched his skin.

Will it hurt? Will he able feel anything? Will the burning pain help him forget about reality for a moment?

He didn't know when but he started lifting his tshirt a little and looked at his deep scar on his waist "It won't hurt" He immediately pressed the burning tip of the stick on skin right next to his scar.

He bites his lips when he felt the burning pain on his skin. It did hurt him a tear rolled down his eyes seeing the red burn on his waist the ciggarette was out. His legs were trembling he was still digging his teeth in to his lower lip tears were making their way down his cheeks his whole body felt numb only his skin near the old scar he had was burning.

He didn't think of anything that had happened until now the burning pain made him forget about his mom, friends, Jungkook. He lighted the cigarette again pressing the burning tip on his skin again.
He lights up the cigarette and touches it on his skin again

"I deserve this"

He did the same thing again

"I am useless"

He kept doing that thing until a 3 whole stick was out and he fall on the floor he didn't had the energy to stand to walk or do anything he felt like the world should end right know in front of his eyes. He sniffed wiping his tears which only pooled down more.

His heart was breaking and he needed someone he was alone in this messy house he was disgusted of himself he needed someone who could comfort make him feel warm. He pulled out his cell phone with his trembling hands and dailed a familiar number. Aftera few ring the person answered the call

"C-Can you please come o-over"

-

Happy new year!