Unfolding Letters | Jikook

20.

Jungkook: Let's fuck. Second floor third room..

At first Jimin was blank he didn't know what to do he was panicking.

Jungkook didn't even say Hi or asked how was he just like he normally does which made Jimin question should he really go.

Is it safe?

Well, of course it's safe Jungkook can be a mad Buffalo but he knows that coconut head would never harm him. He trusted Jungkook.

But again he was still questioning if he should go or not. Having sex with Jungkook when they are not in good terms sounds weird.

This might be a proper sex with no strings attached where you don't care about each other but to Jimin he didn't wanted that he had always found the spark when they kissed, when Jungkook would mark him, when Jungkook would not so gently pushed him to the bed, when he would touch him, when he would look in the eyes and pulled  his pants down without wasting any second, when they would finally fuck.

There was always a spark.

There was always emotions attached.

For Jungkook it might be just sex but Jimin knows how much it means. It's weird when you find comfort in sex, a sense of belonging. For Jimin having sex with Jungkook was comforting.

He always found himself worth, a feeling as if he is wanted and he knows that there is someone in his life who will always come back to him.

But now this seems different. So some different.

Yet he found himself in the very bedroom Jungkook wanted to him to be staring blankly at the floor. He is nervous, panicking and hell he can feel Jungkook straing at him.

At this point he doesn't even know when his legs bought him here. He was supposed to leave this place and go back home and here he is standing right before Jungkook who he has been avoiding.

"So are you going to just stand there?" Jungkook sighs finally breaking the silence. Jimin nibbled with his bottom lips "No— I... Umm" He couldn't help but recall the last conversation they had which was not so good. Jimin had said few (many) hurtful things to Jungkook who just wanted to causally hangout with him.

Jimin had problems that Jungkook wasn't aware of and there could be a chance where Jungkook might be having problems just like every other human and he wanted to avoid them by being with Jimin maybe just maybe Jungkook too found comfort in Jimin.

Jimin remembers what happened when he lashed out on Jungkook he ended up hurting himself if only he had invited Jungkook in probably he wouldn't have self harmed and maybe they would have cooked something delicious and fucked.

He regretted everything. He regretted how he behaved with Jungkook. He regretted letting his problems take over him. If only he could change everything and go back to how they were but the damage is done he can't do anything but apologize.

"Im sorry-"

"Yeah no shit do you want to fuck or not?" Jungkook interrupted.

Jimin bites his lips harder trying to figure out what he should say. Jungkook is not ready to listen to him and now Jinin had two option: have sex or leave.

He knew he didn't want to leave but he was still confused because he didn't want to have sex either.

He needs to act fast or else he will only anger Jungkook and he doesn't want to upset the latter more than he has already done, so giving in he sighs.

"Yeah, sorry" Jimin walks closer to Jungkook placing his hands on Jungkook's chest. He can't lose Jungkook he had already lost his mom. If he doesn't hold on to Jungkook he will lose him too and he doesn't know what he would do without him. The only people who are left are Jungkook, Hoseok and Taehyung. The people he can't live without.

Jimin stands on his tip toes reaching for Jungkook's lips he presses his lips on Jungkook's gently but the other doesn't seem to plan on going gentle, as soon as he felt Jimin's lips on his he wrapped his arms around Jimin's tiny waist harshly pulling him closer.

Jimin gasped between the kiss on Jungkook's sudden harsh pull and with that the raven head slipped his tongue inside exploring the smaller's mouth.

Jimin let him take the lead. They were kissing after so long he missed it but at the same time he didn't like it. It was different. Everything is different.

Jimin wasn't feeling butterflies while they were kissing, he doesn't feel adrenaline rushing, he doesn't feel like entering a new world, he doesn't feel like Jungkook wants him.

All he feels is mocked, he is reminded again and again how pathetic he is, how desperate he is.

Still they just continued and now Jimin was pushed on the bed beside as the taller hovered over him without breaking the kiss.

After Jungkook was satisfied with the kiss he finally pulled away only to attack the smaller's jaw, neck and collarbone. Jimin couldn't move his both hands were placed above his head one of Jungkook's hand pinning them and the other tearing his tshirt so he could get more access to Jimin's honey skin.

All the time when Jungkook was biting, licking and sucking Jimin now exposed chest, he kept his gaze on the door desperately wishing someone to barg in, someone to catch him having sex so that this would finally stop.

Jimin doesn't want to remember this he doesn't want remember feeling pathetic while having sex.

Sex was supposed to free him from his thoughts to show him that he is worth it to give him the warmth he craves but this is far from what he wishes.

He tries to ignore everything thinking it will fade away soon but it never happens every time Jungkook kisses, the way he was licking, biting his nipples, it got worse.

"S.. Stop" Jimin whispers between his moans.

Jungkook continued sucking the boy's nipples not hearing anything.

Soon Jungkook hands traveled down his waist right above is healing wounds and that's when Jimin snaps his eyes open.

He couldn't let Jungkook find out about what he has done. No.

"Stop!" Jimin said out loud finally gathering all his strength making Jungkook pull back.

"What is it?" He asks.

Jimin shook his head keeping his gaze down as he covered himself attempting to hide his abdomen "I.. I need to go" He stands up and walks to the door he could sense Jungkook staring at him but his aura was different he does't seem angry?

"Hyung, I'm sorry if I did something wrong I know we are not in good terms but if something is bothering you I can help—"

"No. Nothing is wrong I just need to go. sorry"

Jimin walks out of the room closing the door behind. His body is exhausted as it never got a proper rest for the past few days he sighs finally wanting to go home and rest without thinking about anything he didn't care how he looked the only thing he could think was going home and throwing himself on his bed and not wanting to wake up for days. The same house he hates being in was now his need he just needs one good sleep and probably he can survive a few days without being physically exhausted.

He has to deal with a lot of stuff but for now reaching home was his first priority he can handle the rest later.