ᴼᵁᴿ ᵀᴵᶜᴷᴵᴺᴳ ᵀᴵᴹᴱ~|ᴴʸᵁᴺᴸᴵˣ~|

11

TW ⚠️: Suicidal thoughts and attempt. Read at your own risk!

Hyunjin's P.O.V:

Earlier, everything that happened was so indescribably peculiar. All of the sudden, i felt like myself....but also not?

Yes, i maintained acting mean and bitchy towards that obnoxious kid, Yongbok. But as weird as i also think at it, i let him...feed me.

Seriously, Hyunjin. What's with the sudden softness?

You're at it again. And it's not good. Being soft to someone will never do you good. You've been at it once, you swear to never put yourself under the same situation again.

So why?

Honestly, i don't know too. Was it because i was feeling weak after I woke up? Was i too lazy to actually pick up any object? What? Why did i do that?

I should've pushed those spoon and bowl away and let those spill on the floor, left to spoilt like the breakfast meals he made me but i didn't.

I know and I'm sure I'm annoyed at what he was doing to me. I'm pissed whenever he pushes that spoon between my lips. But yet, i didn't tell him to stop.

Was i.... secretly enjoying it?

NO NO NO! ERASE ERASE! YOU WEREN'T! YOU WEREN'T ENJOYING ANY DAMN THING! YOU DIDN'T FIND IT PLEASING! NONE OF THOSE ACTIONS OF HIS MADE YOU GLAD!

Exhausted with my thoughts, i let my body fall freely on the bed and feel every bounce the springs will do to my weight. It was satisfying. It was comfortable.

Yet the thoughts that bounces on my mind was disturbing me. I want to sleep already but i cannot.

Damn you, you little rascal. It's only been two days with you and you're already bugging this head of mine. How dare you?

Maybe....i just really need to put this to sleep and forget everything that happened today. And then tomorrow, let my old self bring back from rest and be the usual mean i am.

Nobody deserves my kindness. I have had enough of showing it.

Not anymore.

Not again.

I don't want to get through the same mistake i did.

I don't want the history to repeat itself.

~~~~~🕚~~~~~

"Where did you come from, babe? I thought we will have our dinner date today?" I smiled at my boyfriend who's running towards me and gave him a hug. He was fast to part away from the little intimacy we shared, giving a slight pang in my chest but i decided to ignore it, thinking that he was just not in the mood for touches.

"I'm uh..... I'm sorry, babe. Work had just gotten really busy lately i had to take under time." He reasoned.

And i believed in it. I had to. After all, i trust him.

Although in actual, I'm starting to grow this little intuition in me....that he was lying in disguise.

"Oh....okay. Should we start our date?" I tried to put the smile in my face.

Yet was immediately vanished, thanks to his response.

"About that....umm...can we put it on a hold, please? I'm really exhausted right now and i just want nothing but to go home and sleep. I'll make it up to you next time, okay?"

Put on a hold? Again? How many times have he put our dates on a hold? Does he know how many times now?

For sure he doesn't. He wouldn't even dare to count.