ᴼᵁᴿ ᵀᴵᶜᴷᴵᴺᴳ ᵀᴵᴹᴱ~|ᴴʸᵁᴺᴸᴵˣ~|

39

Yongbok's P.O.V:

Another day has finally risen, knocking my head and telling me I should get moving and make this day alive and working. After all, I'm feeling better now. The pain in my stomach is not that strong so I can handle myself fine.

I sat up from my bed and did some morning stretches. Afterwards, I decided to wash up and get dressed. I've decided to come back to work today since other than feeling better, I also miss working. We can't keep skipping days for absence or our bountiful salary will be shortened.

I went to the kitchen and made breakfast for me and hyung who's still in his deep sleep. Speaking about hyung, my mind wandered back to yesterday evening. I'm still in a state of shock to absorb all the things that escalated last night. The words of frustrations that flew all the way around, and the counterclaim confessions that were released, everything was a bit heavy to take in.

"BECAUSE THEY LOVE ME! THAT'S WHY!"

"Because this man? This man is a fucking jerk and asshole to everyone. So this man deserved to be alone. This man never deserved friends that will burst out of tears at his funeral. This man..... never deserved love."

Hyung…he was so harsh on himself. His reason makes my heart throb. All the pushing and forcing away, it's not just because he wants it. It's all because of the guilt that eats his mind and heart that forces him to push his friends away. Hyung felt like he never deserved such friends as them. He sees himself as the demon and the other boys as the angel that he kept on scaring away just so he could store himself away and alone, not wanting to transmit ruthlessness that was in his heart.

But that will be the end of it. I'll make sure of it. I will let hyung realize he was never no demon. I will help him go through all this pain and healing. Hyung just needed a self reflection and to get his senses shakened.

I know that this cancer has also put a big toll on him, bringing his emotions even further down to the core of earth that he doesn't know how to handle them well now. He always settled for the angry and pissed him to cope up and escape. Because it's easier to feel angry than to face your fears, cry about it, and realize how pathetic you look in the mirror.

People are prideful, I understand that. No one is perfect. Not even me. Especially not hyung, so I understand where he's coming from. But I will be his guide towards the light. I'm ready to risk myself just to pull him out of the pit of darkness where he caged himself. I will wait no matter how long it'll take.

For sure hyung was never an asshole before. Something only triggered him to act that way. Or…maybe rather someone pushed him to be that kind of person. I've always been dying curious about his past story and how he ended up as who he is now. But that'll come. Hyunjin hyung will gain courage and initiate opening up about himself; opening the bigger picture of the folded image that was forced to fit the frame; unstapling the screwed shut pages of the book who were intentionally closed for everyone not to see.

I will wait for that time to come.

While I was in the middle of cooking, I heard vibrations going on in my phone, pulling my trance towards it. I picked it up and figured it was a text message.

💓Mom💓

Good morning, son!
How's our little dragon
there?
It's been days since we
received text from you
and I got worried.
-Sent: 6:05 am-

I hissed as I read my mother's message. Dang, I forgot to send them a text lately. I was too focused with hyung and other things going on in here updating my mother slipped from my mind.