Wines And Guns

30.

"Porchay will stay with Ma tonight. I'll return back tomorrow and stay with her for 2 more nights. Is that okay?"

Kinn was trying to avoid eye contact with Porsche as he stared outside the car window nodding absent minded.

"Kinn?"

"Yes... Are you sure that it'll be fine for Porchay to stay here all alone?"

"Yes I do believe it's fine. There are guards everywhere. I'll be alerted incase anything suspicious happens."

Kinn didn't want to scare off Porsche but he couldn't take any chances with his safety either.

"I'll send some more bodyguards to stay with Porchay tonight."

"Why?"

"Just to make sure. We just had the meeting today. I want make sure the security is tight incase anyone of them gets any ideas".

"Is there any chance anyone of those people would try to attack us?"

"You can never tell. So it's better to stay safe".

They spent the rest of the ride in silence and walked side by side to their room after they reached. Kinn was walking faster than usual as if he was in a stressful hurry. The first thing he did was go inside the bathroom to wash his face in order to calm himself down. He thought if he would've just stepped inside that room and then went to Porsche's office to see those syringes. He couldn't break. Not right now. Not because of Khwan.

"Kinn?"

He lifted his face to see Porsche standing beside him with a worried look on his face. He placed a hand on Kinn's back gently rubbing.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm okay. I'll be okay".

Porsche had managed to throw away the used syringes and kept the pictures in his office drawer. But Kinn had managed to grab the handkerchief again and had brought it back with him.

"It's okay Kinn".

"The photographs and those syringes -"

"You don't have to explain those. Not just because that man wants to force you to."

"I have to Porsche. You don't understand".

He was surprised to hear his own voice so low.

"Not for him but for you. You deserve to know. I have to explain myself".

"You don't have to do that now. You need to rest right now."

"No you-"

"Kinn you need to rest. We can talk about this later".

It took a lot more convincing to put Kinn on bed.

"I'm not sleepy at all Porsche".

"I'm not asking you to sleep. Just lay down and breathe."

"Don't you want to know what those were? He always encourages you to question me. So why not today?"

"Kinn... You can tell me when you want to. We don't have to do anything he asks us to do. This is about us not him. You're a human and you deserve to take your time for this".

The soothing words felt strange to hear. Kinn was more used to being the one who provided that comfort than received it. He tried to his best to relax and calm himself down under Porsche's soft touches on his forehead.

Porsche didn't want to cause Kinn anymore stress but he was quite troubled after seeing those pictures and syringes. There were empty packets of medicines that had no names or lables on them. He was totally caught off guard when Kinn had asked him if he still trusted him. Seeing him panicked like this made Porsche sure that Khwan had much more than a deal planned in his mind. He was definitely trying to fulfill some of his own plans while pretending to help the Main Family in their conflicted task. If he had something so intimate then he must possess other materials that are linked to the Main Family's past. Kinn had turned to his side and was looking out of the huge glass windows. It seemed to do very less to truly distract him.

"Porsche"

"Yes?"

"Have you never wondered why I remained single all these years after Tawan was gone?"

"Why Kinn?"

"The thing is... I didn't want to. I didn't want to remain alone. I couldn't imagine being alone in that situation so... I tried. I really did. I tried to go out with others or just generally sleep around. None of that helped me."

He expected Porsche to say something. Maybe get upset. But Porsche just sat beside him calm.

"When I tried dating again I was desperate. Desperate to get that feeling of... love and security. I made mistakes. A lot. I got rejected everytime. My lack of trust and hesitation towards affection never let anything like that happen again. It was all my fault."

He tried to breathe normally. He felt suffocated and filled with anxiety.

"I don't want to make those mistakes again. I really don't want to fail this time. I don't want my fear of losing you to come true. I have a lot of things I feel ashamed of. But I promise that I'll fix those. I'll do everything I can to make this work. I won't ever walk away again."

Porsche didn't say anything he just kept hugging him from the back as he placed soft reassuring kisses on his shoulder.

"What did he tell you about those syringes?"

"He told me that your mother gave those to him. She wanted to protect you."

"Nothing else?"

"No"

"What about those other things? The handkerchief, empty medicine packets and pictures?"

"I don't know. He didn't say anything".

"He asked you to ask me?"

"Yes.... But you don't-"

"The handkerchief belonged to Mama. The syringes and medicine packets were mine. I don't know why he gave you those pictures".

He felt a sense of worry as well as relief at the same time as soon as he said it out. He wasn't telling him all the details but he has started sharing it.

"Why do you think he wants me to have these things?"

"I... Don't know. He's been warning you to stay strong, be alert and not to trust anyone. It seems like all he wants is for you to walk away from me."

"You know that won't happen Kinn."

Just then Porsche received a text notification.

"Kinn... It's Pete. He says Vegas is willing to see us. He wants to know when we can meet".

"Not here on the campus. We have to think of another suitable place. Alert the security".

"Kinn if we go there with a lots of guards Vegas might-"

"I can't compromise on that security. Please Porsche we can have the guards in a distant place or dressed in casual but we can't go there without security. I know you trust Pete. I do too. But I don't trust Vegas just the way he doesn't trust me."

"Okay Kinn... We'll take the guards".

"You'll be getting out of that place incase of any-"

"Kinn. I'll be fine. You'll be there with me right? Pete was faithful to the Main Family for years. Vegas seems to be faithful to him if not us."