Wines And Guns

59.

There was silence everywhere. Maybe not, but that's what he felt in his mind. Just simply empty. He had ignored Kim's words after seeing the report. He wanted a retest but his father was adamant that the test was correct. He didn't believe it. Of course he didn't. Either the test was wrong or the people who carried out the test were bribed somehow. He had screamed at his father infront of everyone which he had never done before. His father was quiet at first but then he had simply told him to stop being immature and not to overreact after the damage he had done. His voice was icy cold. He knew he couldn't accept his father's opinion and give up on Porsche but at that moment he felt so hurt and betrayed by his own father. His entire life felt like a lie where he had to helplessly believe everything others told him about himself. He needed somebody to be by his side at the moment. Somebody to assure him that everything will be okay even if it won't. And everybody was now telling him that person was gone. Porsche hadn't hesitated even for a moment to step into the shootout to save his life but he himself couldn't do anything for Porsche. The silence was haunting him way more than the constant chaos in his mind. He truly was a dumb puppet at his father's hands as much as he hated to admit it. It was due to his own fault that Porsche wasn't there with him. Due to being lost in his thoughts he couldn't hear Khun walking inside his room that he hadn't bothered to lock. His brother called out his name a few times but he sat there unresponsive looking at a distance. He didn't hear his brother's pleading, didn't feel him shaking his shoulder or hear when he started to cry. Khun sat beside him and rested his face on his shoulder, crying.

"Kinn... Kinn, please say something..."

Khun was desperate for a reaction from him. Anything, even if it was Kinn yelling at him or pushing him away. No matter how unaware he tried to behave all the time, he couldn't handle thought of his family being hurt like this. His father's words truly had a huge impact on him no matter how much he tried to hide it. Hearing his father declare Porsche dead infront of everyone had left him broken. He had dismissed Arm and Pol to let them grieve for their friend in peace while he spent some time with Kinn who's pain was beyond his imagination. Kinn just sat there like a statue all silent and not moving at all. He hated seeing his brother like that but couldn't do anything to truly help him. He didn't know where the hell Kim was after all this went down. Perhaps with Porchay. He knew there was no way Kinn would accept Porsche's death but he couldn't see his brother like that. He didn't care what he had to do to help him.

"Kinn why don't you-

"They took my Porsche".

Kinn was barely whispering his words which sounded so broken. It hurt to see him like that.

"Kinn I'm sure we'll find something out. There's no way that-

"Papa was right. So was uncle."

"No Kinn... Absolutely not. You'll see we'll figure something out".

"I was right there infront of him. He was crying and injured. He was in pain and I stood there frozen doing nothing to help him.... Remember Tawan? That day I froze like that too and did what others wanted me to. The day when you were all by yourself crying I didn't do anything to help you until things got way too bad".

It wasn't true at all. Infact was there with him more than his parents were in his hardest times despite being such a young kid.

"No Kinn... Okay how about you go to the bathroom and wash your face a bit? We'll talk about this after that. I'm not going anywhere I promise."

He was surprised when Kinn complied immediately and got up to walk towards the bathroom. Perhaps his brother was too disturbed to know what he was doing. He was truly scared and worried for Kinn.