Wines And Guns

13.

"Is this really necessary?"

Kinn had been sitting all day beside Porsche who was going through different files.

"I've been in bed all day. I need something to distract myself with. Might as well get some work done".

"That's a terrible way to distract yourself."

"I'm also working".

"You shouldn't. You should be resting".

"I've rested enough Kinn. The work can't just stay pending forever".

Kinn didn't argue any futher. He had been rather quiet since he had returned, only speaking when it was necessary.

"Are you okay?"

"I should be asking you that but yes. Why do you ask?"

"You're being very quiet."

"I just didn't want to disturb you".

Porsche's expression changed at his words. Kinn still seemed distant and upset.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course".

"Why... Why did you... Cut yourself like that?"

Porsche went completely still at that question. This question had to pop up sooner or later but he just wasn't ready to answer it yet. At that moment he was so full of pain and self hatred that he wanted to punish himself. For losing Kinn, for not doing enough. Even at this point he wasn't sure what was going on. Kinn had told him verbally that they were breaking up. He had told him out loud to go away but he still hadn't told him that they were still together. That he loves him.

"Porsche?"

"I-I don't know"

"What?"

"It just... I don't know. I'm sorry that I did it."

Kinn was there when the doctor had changed his bandages. He was a man who had seen enough cuts and blood but still looked disturbed at the sight of the wounds. Especially at the marks that were closer towards his wrist.

"You could've... done some horrible damage".

"I'm fine now Kinn".

The most horrible damage that could've happened was that he could've possibly died by accidentally cutting the wrong nerve. But at that moment death felt more acceptable than losing Kinn to him.

"I should go and see Papa. He had to talk with me. It's late already you should eat".

Porsche watched Kinn walk out of the room.

*

"How is he now?"

"Fine. Still recovering."

"You made the right decision to come back."

Kinn had expected to have a personal conversation with his father. He wasn't expecting Khwan to be there.

"When do you suggest to discuss the project further".

Kinn definitely wasn't in mood to answer any of those questions. He was losing his patience.

"Not until Porsche is completely fine. He needs me right now."

"That's all fine but the work is equally as important".

"Nothing is more important to me than my family".

"He isn't directly related to the family is he?"

"He needs me right now. That's it. I'm staying back with him".