Wines And Guns

27.

"That's not the guitar I gave you is it?"

It was really late at night. Almost everyone was inside except for the few guards who were patrolling around the place. Porchay preferred this time to sit outside and practice music. There was no hurry or chaos also it was a great way to relax after returning from his work. He thought he was all alone outside until he heard Kim's voice asking him the question. He couldn't really snap and say anything in this situation because HE was in Kim's house. Not the other way around.

"No it's not. I didn't know that there was a music room here. Well I got it from there."

"I see... Oh yes it's been long since I played anything there. I used to practice music there with my friends and Kinn when I lived here."

"Kinn likes music?"

"A lot. He plays the guitar nice. I prefer not to say anything about his singing skills though."

"I never expected that."

"Nobody can guess from a look at him".

"What are you doing here at this time by the way? And before you say it's your house-

"I'm just taking a walk. It's nice when there aren't much people around. It's peaceful."

He sat on the bench beside Porchay who shifted a bit away not expecting that.

"You learnt how to play from your brother?"

"No not really. I took a lot of classes. We practiced together though. I had to make a career out of it. Kinn was just doing what he loved doing the most."

Kim turned to look at him as Porchay nodded quietly. It felt strange to have such a normal conversation after so long.

"What about you? Do you have any hobbies you practiced with your brother?"

"We used to draw together when we were young. But then he got too busy to do that with me anymore. His hobby was his job, bartending. He won't let me near alcohol though. He only listens to the music I play."

"That's still nice. He participates in everything you want to do."

"Yes. He left behind everything he had to fulfill my dreams."

"I'm happy you have Khun looking over you now. He might seem a little too much at times but he's the most carring and protective person ever. And... I'm glad that Kinn had got Porsche.

"Well... I'm glad too".

"Are you still looking for different universities to apply?"

"It's getting late now. I have work tomorrow".

It was as if Kim had touched a raw nerve. He sat there watching Porchay walk away back into the mansion.

*

Kinn turned over to wrap his arm around Porsche who was in deep sleep. He had been really anxious the last few days about how he would break the news of the deal to him. He was again feeling somewhat alert after Porsche had recieved the phone call from Pete. Deep down he was expecting that news to arrive someday. Vegas couldn't keep away forever no matter how much he wanted to. This was the curse of their family, they couldn't leave behind it's roots no matter how far they went. He could still hear the gun firings, the splashes of blood everywhere. He tightened his grip around Porsche as the memories came flooding back to him. It was strange how calm Porsche was about things that absolutely freaked him out. He had lived his entire life learning how to deal with such circumstances yet Porsche just seemed to handle it way better. He had seen Porsche get filled with self doubt and fear yet he was way more smooth in handling everything than Kinn was when he was a beginner. He met a guy behind a bar who took away his watch and became his bodyguard. He got drugged multiple times, got himself and Kinn in embarassing situations from it, protected him everytime, made him happier, made him feel alive again, made him feel loved again. Porsche may never accept it but he was the most perfect man to Kinn in every way. He was the most lively part of his dreadful life. He was his life. Kinn never understood why he found it hard to say these things out loud. Porsche deserved to hear them. He placed his hand on Porsche's face. If he could he would hold him forever. He still remembered the fluttering in his heart when Porsche had passed out on top of him after being drunk on their first event together. Seeing him so peacefully sleeping had melted Kinn's heart for a moment. Then his bodyguards had quickly escorted Porsche out of the room but that was the first time he had felt like he wanted to hold onto him. He hadn't felt that protective feeling in years. Porsche had made him feel cherished with his love and kisses. He looked at him with such happiness and pure love. Their relationship was still fairly new but it felt like they understood eachother completely. Porsche could always understand his feelings even when he was the one who could barely communicate. He found it hard to say some things out loud but Porsche always knew how he was feeling. He felt his heart sink everytime he saw the healing scars on Porsche's hands. They had discussed about this. Porsche told him that he felt immature after doing that. But it was worrying him because it wasn't a sign of immaturity but rather bottled up and surpressed emotions that he had kept all over the years. Porsche didn't deserve to feel guilty after that. He deserved care. They were making small progress since the last few days by communicating their feelings. He just wished he could do more. Porsche was a part of his family already but there was this feeling inside him that wanted to... make it official. Now it could sound really rushed to some. His family was hesitant to his engagement even when he was in a very long relationship with Tawan but this felt... different. There were people who couldn't even think of marrying eachother despite being in years of relationship and there were people who got married within months or weeks of dating. He himself was feeling conflicted with this. They were still going through so many different problems, things weren't settling down the way he had expected them to. He himself had hurt Porsche so much. He couldn't gather the guts to discuss this with Porsche. What could he say? Their relationship was still very new. He had never been the boyfriend Porsche deserved. But he really wanted to be. Porsche had turned his back towards him in his sleep. He hugged him from the back, softly kissing his shoulder.

*

He woke up to Porsche kissing his nose.

"Good morning".

"Good morning. How come you're waking up earlier than me everyday?"

"I don't know. Maybe we are influencing eachother."

He pulled Kinn up to sit before he could stretch and cover himself with the blanket again.

"Oh what the hell. I definitely want to sleep more".

"What do you even do after waking up this early?"

"Exercise. Also it's a great time to just roam around because no one will he up yet".

"I see".

"Or maybe... You know..."

He wrapped his arms around Porsche's neck and pulled him on top of him.

"You need to brush your teeth first!"

"You never complained before".

He placed kisses all over Porsche's face.

"I've got a lot of work today."

The mention of work reminded Kinn of the long line of meetings in his schedule. Sitting down and listening to people discuss several irrelevant things for hours was painful. It was hard to get used to it even after all these years.

"Porsche... Can you be here this afternoon? We're gonna have another meeting about..."

"Definitely. I'll make sure to clear up my schedule".

Kinn ran his fingers through Porsche's hair.

"I'll try my best today."

"I know. I trust you".

Trust was something that was very fragile and sensitive in his life. Only the person who had it broken knew the true value of trust. Porsche would never know how much that single sentence meant to Kinn at that moment.

"I won't let them dissolve the Minor Family".