Wines And Guns

73.

It was the place where he had spent his entire life. The same familiar walls, decorations and people. Yet only after a few days everything felt so strange and almost unknown to him. His father sat infront of him preparing tea. Nobody had dared to look at his direction when he had walked in yet he could almost feel what they were thinking. Too much chaos and drama has unfolded over a short period of time and it was far than over.

He didn't usually agree with his father. Whenever some important descision had to be made he, his brother and his father did a voting. But deep down he knew that everyone considered his father's words the final.

"You haven't stayed in touch at all".

His father didn't wait for his reply as he answered the question himself.

"It's fine. Understandable. I hope you're doing fine over there".

"I am fine. How is everything here?"

There was no response to his question but he already knew the answer. He had been through this once before. The supposed head of the family suddenly stumbling in his actions and walking away without any notice was bound to shake the foundation of Main Family. He had done more damage to his family's reputation in only a few months than his uncle had done in decades.

When Porsche had told him that he went to his home to speak with his father he was more relieved than shocked. It was going to take a lot of efforts from his side to approach his father so casually for a conversation.

He had assured Porsche that he would be fine going there all by himself. Even though very less he still had some hopes from his father that he won't intentionally harm him in any way. His actions had almost caused his younger brother his dream and he couldn't imagine that happening.

"Porsche didn't accompany you today?"

"He insisted but I didn't see the necessity of it."

"I'm glad you atleast have some trust left on your father..."

"Perhaps I should've given you more time Kinn... For everything. That's how I've done things my entire life. Whenever I faced a crisis I did everything to move past it as rapidly as possible so the pain of it won't eat me up. I tried to teach you to do the same but it only broke you further."

"Can't fix old now..."

"I know that. But I can try to make the future a bit better no matter how unpredictable it is. You deserved time to mourn and handle your feelings. In the case of your mother, Tawan or the people we've lost over the years."

"I wasn't sure if I was ready to have this conservation. Now that I'm here I just feel... Nothing. I feel absolutely nothing. Maybe later all these things will overwhelm and suffocate me again but now I feel like everything awful that happened felt like nothing. It's all numb".

"A lot of people in your life have failed you. And I'm one of them. My presence in your life brought you more harm than good. Maybe it's time for me to step away from your life".

"What do you mean Papa?"

"When I was a child my father had built a smaller, more secluded house a bit away from here. Me, your uncle and Namphueng used to spend lots of time there when we were kids. I felt peaceful there. This place doesn't have that kind of peace... Maybe I'm best suited for there. Whoever stays the head of the family is upto you now."

Kinn just stared at his father trying to take in his words. He was so stupid to even consider that for once his father will understand what he truly wants and will stay by his side to support him. He truly regretted going there alone without Porsche. His father still cared about everything else above him. He had to carry the burden of every mistake done by his family and now his father was just walking away from it all, leaving him to gather the broken pieces by himself.