Wines And Guns

38.

Addiction to drugs destroyed people. The ones seeking drugs were either in search of something beyond their normal senses or just wanted to stay in their delusions for awhile. Porsche had seen enough of that growing up with an uncle with a heavy gambling addiction, taking part in underground fights and working as a bartender for a few years. He had seen people sell their souls for little amounts of powder and liquid that gave them moments of hallucinations, helping them escape their dreadful reality. Reality of how their family bonds are all a lie to hide the deep resentment, reality of the fact that your cousin hates you and wants you dead, that you can't trust your own father, you can't confide in with your own siblings, the parent who was the only one you could confide in with is dead, the person you loved and wanted to spend the rest of your life with betrayed you, your dreams and ambitions hold no value over your family's materialist line of work. You either live this bitter life trying to shallow the reality or seek out little moments of extreme delusions that lead you to that tiny amount of powder or those syringes. People almost always lost control upon themselves when they got into such addictions but the Kinn he saw infront of his eyes was nothing like that. And that's why Khwan was always so quick to emphasize that Kinn is nothing like what he seemed yet his statements always contradicted between putting blame on Kinn as an irresponsible brat who caused his mother to die and got himself betrayed or a broken, pathless soul who only pretends to be the secure and strong leader managing everything smoothly. The toughest part was that he himself wasn't sure on how to approach this conversation with Kinn since he knew how sensitive and triggering it could be. They had started to communicate better and talk about little things but this was a side of Kinn that he was always very hesitant and uncomfortable to talk about. There were things that were always left unspoken. It wasn't just Kinn but the entire family. He had 2 missed calls from Kinn. He was in the house anyway so he hadn't picked up but just sent a normal text that he was with Porchay for a moment. What will he say if he saw Kinn? Just ask him directly if he did drugs, if he did something awful while he was under the influence? His mother was just recovering and he had seen Kinn's panic over the topic so he had to remain careful.

"I don't know what you mean by trust here. Just because I didn't tell you something you means I don't trust you? everything we've had till now means nothing to you?"

Those words spoken by Kinn during the argument before he broke up with him kept ringing through his mind. He couldn't forget that moment and his feelings during it no matter how much he tried. That had left an impact in their relationship that he wasn't able to overcome. A sense of fear, that made him feel miserable. He had to do it. For himself, for Kinn. He couldn't let Khwan and his stories and threats torment them forever. He took out his phone and dialled the number Khwan had used to call him. The call was picked up almost instantly as if Khwan had been sitting holding his phone over his face waiting just for Porsche's call to arrive.

"Good evening. It's truly a surprise! I'm always the one to make the call, pass on a text or start the conversation. I must say that I'm delighted to receive a call on your behalf this time".

"You talk too much. You love to do that don't you?"

"Well sometimes I just have a lot to say".

"Oh I know that by now. Let's do it then. I'd like to see you see you do what you can do the best. Talk."

"Are you asking for a private meeting with me? Well certainly! It'll be an honour. Is it going to be just you and me or will there be anyone else joining us?"

"I'll let you know soon. We'll meet whenever I ask you to during this month. Whenever".

"Well fine then.... I'm really eager. I'll look forward to the day you call me with the address I have to reach for our meeting."