A few days later, I was greeted by darkness and silence when I walked into the house.
"You sure you want to do this?" A voice echoed in my head, but I couldn't find the confidence I had when I first heard them. "I'll support whatever decision you make, and you know you'll always have a place to stay here"
"Thanks, Holly" I mumbled then, and now again as I stop in front of our bedroom door.
My heart pounded as I pushed open the door and my tears fell as I dropped the suitcase on to the bed. The tears worsen as I open the drawers and take out clothes, leaving behind an emptiness that couldn't compare to what I felt inside
I looked around, trying to remember the sights around me, but all I saw was the arguments we had the last few nights in here.
I feel the grooves and the raised edges, watching the tears blur in my eyes. My thumb slid across the medal wet from my tears, and at last, I placed it on the counter, finally letting go.
"What are you doing?" A voice asked from out of nowhere. I turned around, blinking away the tears and looking at Matt. He furrowed his eyebrows and I noticed his shoes by the door and his jacket over the stairs.
"Matt"
"Y/N, what are you doing? It looks like..." he trailed off, his words wrenching at my heart. "Looks like you're moving out, and without even telling me. What was I supposed to do, come home tonight and find your keys on the counter? The night before I leave for my case? How's that fair?"
"Matt, I- please-"
"No, why should I let you explain? It doesn't seem like you were going to leave me a note or tell me" he said, his breath stinking of alcohol
"Matt, I was just going to stay at Holly's tonight while you were gone-"
"Then, why leave a key?" He asked, his voice growing firm. "I'm so sick of arguing with you lately. I'm done Y/N, I really am"
"Matt, don't say that. You're drunk, you don't know what you're saying" I said, dropping the bag. It hit the floor and he turned around, rubbing a hand down his face.
"I know what I'm saying, Y/N and I'm done dealing with this. For having an ungrateful girlfriend who picks at every thing I do, because it's never good enough"
"Matt, that's not true" I sobbed, following him with my steps, but he moved further away from me.
"I'm doing it for you, okay? I'm doing what you can't do, and I'm ending it. We're done. We're breaking up"he mumbled and I could barely see him through the blur of my tears.
"Please, Matt. I don't want to break up. I'm sorry"
"Sorry doesn't cut it, isn't that what you say to me?" He said, turning to face me fully.
"But I love you...and I know that you love me too" I said and he stopped talking. "Matt, say it back, please. We can pretend this didn't happen, and we can go to bed together. We can sleep it off and talk before you leave tomorrow" I cried, watching his face have no emotion.
He stared at the floor, scratching the back of his head. Something pulls me backwards and away from him. I take steps and wish I could rewind time, but they only bring me to the case I pick up.
"Go, Y/N, okay? I made up my mind, we're over. Go before the storm gets too bad" Matt said, dropping his hand as my sobs shake my body. He looked up, but he avoided my eyes, as he brushed past me and walked up the stairs.
~
I tried not to look up and lose myself in the pictures of memories that stuck to every corner of the room. Him opening gifts on the couch, the make out sessions on the couch, the almost first kiss by my window, the first time I saw my price with him, and all of the times he'd work over my shoulder. My thoughts were stolen away by a knock on the door.
