They don't know I can hear them, but I do. Somehow. I didn't mean to, but once I start to, I can't stop.
"How are you feeling? Did that nap help?"
"A bit...it hurts"
I would have let sleep lull me back into his arms, but I couldn't after what I heard. I wasn't sure where I was, I was somewhere between awake and asleep
"Here, this is what this is for"
What's for what, I think to myself. If I focus hard enough, I can feel the feeling of Matt's chin moving across my forehead.
"I don't like it. The morphine...makes me tired" he mumbled softly
"You wouldn't be tired if you were sleeping, Matt"
"I am sleeping, Jason...you don't know how hard this is. Tubes, the gown, bandages...worst headache of my life and I can barely feel one leg" Matt groaned from above me.
"The bed isn't very big to begin with, and she's in there with you"
Matt groaned, and I could sense the annoyance.
"It was the only way I could get her to stop crying, and me too...Jason, you try being in here with your partner standing by the bed, afraid to touch you...and that's all you want"
"I'm sorry.." Jason sighed. Slowly, I think I was waking up. Matt cupped my elbow and rubbed my skin through my sleeve.
"I'd never wish it on anyone..especially for her to go through what I did when she was in here. I never wanted her to go through that" I try not to do it, to open my eyes when I felt his nose against my temple.
"Reckon she shed the tears out of us all"
Matt scoffed into my hair, smoothing it down again.
"Your lying"
"I'm not. She lost it when I saw her-well, when I called her to tell her, but after that. She wouldn't say a word to anyone, least of all the doctor who updated us about you. She didn't talk to them or us, sleep when we did or eat when we did"
"God" the shock in Matt's voice was thick. When I heard him sniffle, I could feel the tears starting to well in my eyes again. "I'm so sorry, Y/N"
"I was mad at her first, but then I looked at her. All she could do was twirl the ring on her finger and cradle her stomach. It made me realise she had it worse than the rest of us- the two of you just got engaged and you just found out you were having a baby, just to have it ripped away"
"Really? Not a word?"
"No. She turned mute when Holly calmed her down after seeing me. I know I wasn't the only one thinking that stuff, wondering what was wrong with her, but there's no one way to act when this happens"
"Yeah, two peas in a pod you are..."
"Three now...with our little pea"
~
I was confused when I woke up again. New smells and sounds surrounded me, sensations even. There was a rhythmic a breathing- not just one, but two? When I couldn't find his scent, my mind started to spin. I lifted my head and found eyes I don't recognise. The memories flood my insides, and my eyes spent them onto my shoulders. I had wished and begged it was a nightmare to wake up from.
"Hey" a voice cooed and I felt his hand stroke my face. It didn't stop my quick breathing or my chest going up and down quick. "Breathe...you're okay"
"But you're not, Matt-" I cut myself off, not sure if it was by accident or on purpose.
