May we always meet again

Chapter 16

Clarke's POV

Abruptly, I stopped. "My cell phone number?"

"Yeah, go out with me. Right." Pleadingly, she looked at me and my heart stopped for a moment.

I sighed, "I don't know if I can. We haven't talked in months and then suddenly this..."

"I know I hurt you. I also know I should have reached out, but I couldn't and I'll never forgive myself for that. But seeing you here now, being near you again...I couldn't leave without at least trying."

"Lex...a. I'm not unattached anymore, and I can't just leave everything behind."

"Don't tell me it's Bellamy." Critically, she eyed me.

I laughed. "No, he doesn't leave me completely alone, but I don't want anything to do with him anymore. It's Luna."

"Luna?" She looked hurt, guilty, and curious.

"I met her in continuing education, after which I saw you and Nia together. At some point we started dating and I really like her a lot."

"Can we at least be friends? Please? And does your family know about... Luna?" Why did she care? Was it about continuing her job? Our cover? Hope?

I shook my head. "No, they're still wallowing in the dreams of our wedding, and that's the way I want it to stay. For now."

"So you're not really together?" Her eyes sparkled and I saw the hint of a smile that disappeared right after.

I sensed the hope behind her words, so I had to be more explicit. "We're dating, but no, and I'm not double-tracking."

"I'm not saying that either, but what's wrong with us doing something together, amicably of course?" She looked at me intensely with her green eyes and my resistance melted. Well, actually, he said goodbye waving while I showed him my middle finger, but who took it so seriously?

"Okay, give me your phone." She smiled almost shyly, handed it to me and I saved my number, which Lexa called immediately. "I just wanted to make sure you didn't make a mistake." She said with a shrug. She then waved at me and left.

***

During my shift I was pretty distracted, which of course could be because my main food at the moment was coffee, I rarely slept really well or at least enough, or it could be because of a certain brunette who was taking my mind away. Who knows. Inwardly I saw a small male shrug his shoulders and had to grin, well what the heck.

In spite of my playfully relaxed manner and the attempt to make a clichéd, i.e. stupid, blonde, my thoughts circled around Lexa.

For months I had hoped for an answer from her, but everything remained unanswered and now she was standing there, asking for my cell phone number and for a date. What was I supposed to do with this information? What did she expect from me? What did I actually expect? The emotional chaos inside me was perfect. Then my cell phone rang. Luna. That's what I call timing.

I answered it and I could hear in her voice that she was smiling. "Hey Honey, are you busy right now?"

"I always have time for you, unless I'm stuck with my hands in a patient, then it gets a little difficult." I laughed and she did the same. After that we talked about everything. It was so easy, casual. It wasn't this what if, no drama, it was simple, solid and I knew where I stood.

Luna and I had been dating for 2 months now, about 4 I had been waiting for a response from Lexa. In that time we were welded together. First through our friendship and then through our dating. Of course I hadn't told her anything about my (ex-) companion and not just because of the contract. I mean, how was I supposed to explain it to her? Or Raven? "Oh, by the way, I paid a woman to be my escort. But that wasn't it. Then I fell in love with her and we had sex. After that, she was gone." No, I couldn't tell anyone that, especially since she was now part of my life again.