The Truth.

Thirteen: Trial of Fear

The fear did not leave me once I stepped through the portal. I could taste it on my tongue, and knew I would smell it if my senses weren't dulled. Surrounded by nothing but darkness, looking behind me to find the archway gone and with no light came no vision. All I could feel was fear that felt like it wasn't my own, as if something else was causing my feeling of fear. My heart raced within my chest and goosebumps broke out across my body. I could feel a presence of something otherworldly was with me but I could see nothing but a never ending blackness.

Everything around me seemed to disappear before me like smoke and wrapped into a new vision. Anxiety and fear rushed through me at the sight of Bellatrix beneath my wolf, it bloodied muzzle telling me all I needed to know. "NO!" Sending a stunning spell toward the best that had killed my mate, but watching helplessly as it bounced off its fur without an a scratch. A horrifying realisation that I could not harm my wolf with my own magic and that I could not move.

The wolf's gleaming eyes bored into my soul and I quickly noticed that it was staring at me with sadness in its eyes. My fear of what my wolf would do was the same fear it shared. Killing Bellatrix. That was my biggest fear, losing control of my wolf to the point I would injure my mate. It was a fear that I had buried deep down, ignoring that the loss of control could kill Bellatrix. It seemed my wolf felt the same because we shared the same mind.

I could not tear my eyes away from Bella's broken and bloody body. The claws making easy work of her porcelain skin, ripping her insides open and her neck ripped apart. Pain was all the filled me and the fear of this being a possibility. Recalling the Lucian had said about a previous protector injuring his mate while fighting bloodlust.

The wolf let go of Bellatrix, her lifeless body slumping the ground; dead eyes open but holding nothing. A sob escaped my throat at Bella's lifeless eyes stared back at me and my wolf stepped towards me, whining out as it did so. I paid no mind, not caring if it ripped me apart.

I could smell the metallic tang of blood that drenched the air around me. Bella's blood. Another sob escaping, my heart broken at seeing my love, my precious beautiful gorgeous mate in such a way. The whimper and long mournful whine reached my ears and my blurry vision was met with my wolf curling on itself, looking at me with saddened red eyes.

I was expecting to feel some sort of anger towards my beast but I only felt sorrowful. My wolf did not want this either. Wiping my tears away, my voice broken as it croaked out "This will never happen." Determined to not make this a reality. Vowing to never harm my mate but in order to do that, I know I needed to not fear my wolf.

A vision came into view, warping me forward and I was thrusted forward into a forest. This time with colour of green and the sounds of bird echoing around me. The forest appeared to go still as a beast stepped forward. It was a hulking black mess of fur, gleaming with a mouth full of teeth all bloody and glowing red eyes.

The beast stepped forward, growling at me, saliva dripping from it muzzle. With a starling reality I realized I was opposite my own bloodlust filled wolf as it hunched back on its own legs as if it readying to launch itself at me. The last bit of fear disappeared; dissolving into nothing as I gazed at my beast with nothing but trust.

My voice was sharp when I yelled, "Heel!" The hulking wolf immediately stopped growling at me, tilting its head much like a puppy would and relaxed its bunched up frame. It's tongue lolled out of it mouth and its ears titled back as it head cocked before letting out a bark. I huffed as this giant werewolf acted like a giant puppy.

I slowly stepped forward without worry and my hand gently touched its muzzle to find surprisingly soft fur. Even sat back on its haunches, it towered above me with its 7ft frame. I felt no fear of my wolf, only trust. I needed complete and utter trust in my wolf in order for my mate and anyone I loved to not be harmed. By me not trusting my beast, I was doing more harm than good.

As if a weight lifted off my shoulders, the scenery around me changed and I found myself back at the lake. It was rather sudden from colours filling my vision to nothing with my eyes struggling to adjust in my human form. When they eventually did, I noted that the area was lighter, still dark but I observed that I could see more. It was then I noticed something else that wasn't there before.

Spotting a body, floating ethereally in the middle of the lake. My vision seemed to narrow in on the figure with a quick realisation that it was my own body floating in the middle of the lake. With haste, I stepped into the freezing water hissing out in pain as the ice cold water felt like pinpricks across my skin although I continued to push.

Soon I was up to my neck as I calmed my breathing down to remain steady, trying not to let my human body go into panic as I swarm further and deeper into the lake. I could feel my limbs begin to tire and I slipped under the water more times than I wanted, hating feeling so weak. But I was human again so I was weaker than my changed body.

I felt like I had been swimming forever when I had finally reach my spectre of my body. Touching the spectral form, my body lurched forward as if I was being sucked forward. Opening my eyes I found myself curled up in a cave, wincing in pain as my senses rushed back to me.

A headache forming and throbbing behind my eyes as I tried to open them. I need to get back. I reached for Bella but found the connection blocked but I could feel Bella's spiralling emotions. Shit...I knew that whatever I would come back to would not be good and I was right.