About Me

Chapter 2: How everything started.

Of course this story started with a beautiful baby called Lara. She was born on 17-12-2009. She was very loved by her parents and sisters and was surrounded by love. But that was only because Lara was a baby. Little and cute, but as Lara grows up, you'll see that she becomes a monster. Well, at least that's what they told me.

I do remember some stuff about when I was little, but I don't know when it started. I was really adorable, the cutest out of my sisters and me. I always got a lot of attention, My sisters were jealous of me, because when they celebrated their birthday people always came to me. I loved the attention, but how could I know that I wasn't allowed to play. I was just a kid, three years old. How could they blame me? I may have been a little devil, but I did not do it on purpose. I was hard to raise, I get that. When I was mad I used to bite. One time I bit my oldest sister and you could see the print of my teeth for 2 weeks. One time when i was 5 me and my sisters were home alone and I was playing with a marker from my oldest sister. Suddenly she snatched the marker from my hands. I got angry, I did not do anything wrong and I was practically just looking at it. I got angry, like really angry. She saw the look in my eyes and got scared she ran up the stairs, but i followed her. My middle sister probably heard the scream of my older sister, when I bit my oldest sister she tried to push me away, but I didn't let go. (I told you I was a monster, I'm sorry, still am.) Then my middle sister grabbed her plastic money savers lion and hit me with it on the head. I let go right away, but my middle sister hit me a few times extra. Later when I got the old diary from my oldest sister and read old parts she had written. She wrote about that one time, and there stood some nasty stuff about me. I cried and never told anyone. No one who would believe me against the word of my sister.

As I you could read, I got really angry about stuff. I couldn't stand injustice, still not, but back then I couldn't explain it in words, so I just got really mad. That didn't help me either, but it helped a little that the people who hurt me would feel a little of my pain too. I did act like monster, but it wasn't like I had no feelings or pain at all. Sometimes as punishment they locked me up in my room. It was really terrifying, and still if I think about it I get really emotional. I screamed and cried, but no one came to save me. The neighbors must have heard me, but I never got any help. One time I had cried so much I puked on the floor of my room. I mostly looked out of the window. There wasn't much to see, but what could I do? Sometimes I was not allowed to go on fun outings such as to the beach. I said the most horrible things when I got older. I said that I hoped they would die.

But do you know what the thing is? I don't regret it. Back then I did, but now I don't. You know why? Everything, every single thing I did in my life, or that happened made me who I am right now. If I could I wouldn't change a thing. It showed who I was, who I became and who I am. And I am really proud of myself, because I will never have complete power about my life, but I did accept myself even if no one else did. I think that all my experiences show how strong I am. Because I fought back then, I know now that I have the strength to win the war. I know because I fought back how and who my parents really are. Because back then I was young I could not know how to tell people what happened at home, but when I got older I started thinking about what they did to me and if other kids of my age had experienced the same. But they didn't I already was different from other kids, because I was raised in a other way. They thought I was weird, so of course they started bullying me. And of course I got really angry and other kids thought it was funny. So it got worse. I had no friends at all and I couldn't control myself.