About Me

Chapter 10: first grade. (eerste klas)

I started on a new school. It was amazing, I told no one about my parents and I had a amazing camp. Every one was really nice and I was good friends with Noor. We laughed a lot. I didn't do well at school but I didn't care. At home it was really bad. I always had pain somewhere and once I had a huge bruise on my leg I said I fell. But I didn't.

My hair was longer and then in October 13th I heard I had autism. My parents directly blamed all my life on my autism, but that's not how it works. No my autism has always been a part of me, my autism is not just my anger or my defence, I AM my autism. And my autism is me. It's who I am, but it doesn't change me. I am still the same. I had some medicines to get me calm but I showed them that I still got angry. And then suddenly. I could go to a group in The Hague. It was called The Inktvis. I hated the name, but I did go there. I left my school, my friends, but also my parents and I have been there for nine months and one week. From 20 October until 27 July. I met kids with problems too. We supported each other and when I think back now I think that felt more as a family to me then my parents and sisters ever felt like. It was hard, 24/7 with therapists who say what you have to do. Even in your dreams (super creepy) but I could live there. I could be myself. I could laugh and be happy in more then a year. I loved the people there. I had to work really hard, but I have learned life lessons and I grew up I could express myself better. I took care of the other kids there who had it difficult too. I went to a other school and I learned more about autism and who I am. I changed a lot. It's hard to explain but in those nine months and a week I became more mature then some adults can say about themselves. I grew, but I am still not tall. I talked with 20 year old people about autism and one guy thought just because of my talking that I was 21 while I am 13. It was a huge compliment and I was loved there. Here are a few pictures:

Ready for the Christmas gala.

Practising with the public transport. (Travelling alone😬)

Ready for the play Alice in wonderland as presenter.

Ready to beat A (therapist)

Done with the play. As Alice. With the daughter of my mentor from the Inktvis.

In the zoo with R (kid from the Inktvis)

Carrying L (A adult, she is one of the therapists.)

Carrying N (Also adult and therapists)

I had a happy time there. When I would go back home and said goodbye I was told I was really important for the group. That I took care of how the dynamic was or what the atmosphere was like. I got a lot of presents. More than others that left and I had a really hard time not crying. They made my life easier. They supported me when I felt like my world was falling apart. I practiced my play from Alice in Wonderland with them. It felt like home, like family. And you don't know how much I miss them.

Yeah, I changed a lot, but in a good way. I still talk to some kids, and I saw my mentor and a therapist R. I can travel with public transport now. (On my own) and I feel a bit more free.