About Me

Chapter 31: Childish and Helpless.

This is going to be a very short chapter, it's about my childish sisters and I am so mad at them.

I was eating an Ice cream with them and my dad, my mother is currently in America for a wedding, I really don't mind, because of all I have been through,  I don't miss her, my dad and mom have their anniversary tomorrow, they have been through twenty years of partnership, it's pathetic really, my mom isn't even there to celebrate it. I was given the task to buy a cake tomorrow, partly I don't want to do it because I am doing it for her, but I am doing it so I can buy the one I like.

Anyways, I was eating ice cream with my 2 OLDER sisters and suddenly they started licking and sucking on theirs in a very inappropriate way, or to be direct, like it was a penis or a vagina. I tried to stop them because my appetite wasn't going to improve with that, of course my sisters wouldn't listen and just started laughing while continuing the inappropriate part. I ended up eating my ice cream in my room without my appetite to actually eat it, because the ice cream of course had to be WHITE!!!!!!! But I ate, I am not going to let my sisters ruin my evening and waste an ice cream. So I ate with a very bad feeling... But I am happy I didn't have to eat while they where being childish.

It's so sad, I hardly ever eat downstairs, or halfway dinner I go up. And I don't like meat anymore because of an accident that a bone was in my burger. It's so gross, I only dare to eat bacon or shoarma because you can see if there is a bone in it or not.

I don't know what to do anymore. Yelling doesn't help, but talking and keeping calm doesn't help either. I am not able to end it and no one is trying to help me. Not the people who can end this war. I feel like I am bleeding to death, the cuts, the scars I have, it won't ever heel and there is nothing I can do about it. The world is harsh, but it shouldn't be like this. This isn't how it's supposed to be. I feel like screaming, kicking, killing, giving pain to everyone else, I feel like breaking things, but I am sitting here behind my laptop not being able to do anything. I'll have to out it in another way, so I'll write a letter.