About Me

Chapter 23: Everything I do is wrong.

Well lets start right away:

I have developed a dust mite allergy. My whole room is full of dust mites and I got red bumps all over my body, especially when I was in my bed. First I thought it was a weird mosquito bite or something, but it couldn't be that so my dad looked it up and it was dust mites. We cleaned my whole room and I slept on the stretcher for a few nights, but I had also a real mosquito so I slept on the couch. I slept only 5 hours or something and I was really tired in the morning, everything itches and I feel not healthy.

But when I was awake and just laying on the couch with my headphones on listening to music and being silence my parents suddenly said that I couldn't stay downstairs, I asked why but they practically kicked me to my room. I was confused and angry (still am) and started cleaning my room a bit more. Every time I needed to go downstairs I put my hands in the air and waved it like a maniac and said the whole time: 'Oh dear, what a disaster I am downstairs!' I know it was childish but it's also my house, I would get it if they didn't want me to into their room, but just being downstairs in the living room?! That's just insane, I mean, why couldn't I be just downstairs, it wasn't like I was being annoying at first, of course after I got to my room I got annoying, but even if this seems like a small thing, this is a huge deal because it's just not fair to me.

Also since I am back home again I get sick again. I don't know exactly what it is, but always at home I am sick or feeling bad. I get bruises faster and I got more pain if I get hurt and it lasts longer. I think it's my body that is saying: 'It's not safe here, you get sick so often.' It always feels like my body is preparing me on more pain then I ever felt. My body feels it when something is starting to go wrong. It's weird, but my heart, my body and my head do agree about it.

It's not safe here.

I wish I had somewhere to go to. To disappear and get them out of my life, it's not like I feel loved anyway. But, well I'll have to see how I can survive until I have got a solution for this.